Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!

I’m going to depart from my leadership tone for this week. It’s Thanksgiving and most of you are not at work today. If you have a vacation policy that allows the day after Thanksgiving as a personal holiday, a regular holiday for those robust places to work or you just took the Friday after a Thursday holiday, it doesn’t matter. You’re not at work…

So what are you doing with this gifted day?

You likely stuffed yourself with the Butterball dressed up next to the cornucopia, accompanied by candied yams, French cut green bean and mushroom soup casserole with the dried onions on top, stuffing with or without the giblets, pumpkin pie with whipped cream, or some variation of that. You probably took a tryptophan-induced nap, watched some TV, played some games…

• So maybe your waist grew 1” closer to blowing out your waistband but that isn’t what I was referring to in the blog title.

• In college, I recall a Gold Star band trumpet player who grew his scruffy beard for deer hunting season around this time of year. He was convinced that good food and family time made his beard grow fuller and faster, like it was 1” closer to a real beard by the time he returned from the holiday.

• Actually, life affects us in funny ways. Things that sneak up on us (or at least me) where we find the person we want to spend our life with, we raise a family, we prepare our children for the “real world” and we usher them off to get smart, get a job and create a life for themselves. Holidays roll around and we hope like crazy that they desire to come back and share some time and stories. They move miles and/or states away and we hope they feel “the emotional tug” to get 1” closer…at least once or twice a year.

I recently saw an interesting Harvard Business Review article from a couple of decades ago highlighting the book by Daniel Goleman that explained how a leader’s high Emotional Intelligence (EI or EQ) is what makes them exceptional. (So maybe I can’t help but slip a lesson about leadership into my story.)  The five areas that describe EQ are;

• Self-awareness
• Self-regulation
• Empathy
• Motivation
• Social Skill

Moving 1″ closer to adulthood or 1″ closer to becoming an effective leader, you need to open up your heart.

Open up your hearts this holiday season, not just your pie hole. 🙂

Have a blessed remainder of this extended Thanksgiving weekend.

Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!

When you’ve accumulated knowledge, wisdom, courage, intuition, maturity, and confidence-what do you do with it? Keep it to yourself? Use it for your own benefit, wealth or job security?

We tend to want others to play by the same rules we were taught to play by, don’t we? This condition we create adds no value, it simply builds a wall. Does this really serve anyone? With age comes wisdom…isn’t part of wisdom to recognize that knowledge gathering evolves with our surroundings? For instance, my three year old grandson can navigate an iPad like nobody’s business. He still enjoys having someone read to him but the pace and vehicles for his learning has expanded compared to mine at that age. We must also evolve.

Here’s a novel idea…
Assume noble intent. That “kid”; young, inexperienced, naive, innocent, shy kid you’ve unfortunately, maybe even accidentally dismissed might be the vessel God sent to you to carry your experience into the next generation.

What does it take to be a mentor? I submit it starts with building a bridge. Not half way, not most of the way…all the way! When you cross that newly built bridge, you will find a willing set of hands, an engaged mind, and steady feet that simply needs tools, someone to instill confidence in them, and to show them the way.

The bridge pictured above (courtesy of WordPress) was built adjacent to Hoover dam in Nevada. This complex engineering and construction feat is a marvel. It’s amazing what we can do when we put our minds to something. So, you may be saying to yourself, building a bridge the whole way is difficult, time consuming, expensive, risky…blah, blah, blah. Yes, it is. It’s also rewarding, energizing and the absolute right thing to do.

Look in your mirror today. Stare at your eyes for a minute. Those eyes have most likely seen things that others younger than you haven’t. You possess skills others don’t. You’ve got something to give. Something to pass on.

It starts with a bridge. Build the whole thing! Because you can. Because at some point, long before you knew what a bridge was, someone, probably several someone’s, built one all the way to you.

Have a blessed weekend!

Good morning, Leaders! It’s Friday!

My misperceptions of strong leaders of large and successful organizations included being a hard ass, subscribing to command and control tactics, all stick, no carrot, fire branded by all the stressful situations they encounter on a daily basis.

Those situations may exist in pockets of the workforce but are probably not associated with successful companies you’d want to be part of today.

It was nine years ago, late October in New York where, at a CEO roundtable, I heard leaders sharing information on their successes and failures. Making themselves vulnerable, passing on stories of incredible endurance, passion and love. Yes, old men in suits and ties, in a theater setting, talking to a nearly all male audience about love. Was this the twilight zone?

Nope, just a tectonic shift in my beliefs. Nearly a decade later, I recall the moment but I still didn’t anticipate that would begin the melting process.

Scientists say we are made of mostly water. If so, perhaps the hardening of the heart is actually more freezing than hardening. If, over time, we begin to realize that our perceptions were inaccurate, inappropriate and misapplied, what would YOU call the change in thought? Softening, thawing, melting…how else would you explain the relative ease at which I start leaking out of my eye sockets?

The human condition is a confounding proposition. You enter into this world fragile, screaming in pain, covered in vernix and amniotic fluid and we immediately begin to form a thicker skin; cry ourselves to sleep, demonstrate our ability to take a joke, a skinned knee, a disappointment at the school dance, perceived failures in life that harden our hearts. If we try to stay tender, we hurt more.

Then, one day, the process starts to reverse…if you’re lucky. The birth of your own child or grandchild. Milestone accomplishments from first step to first word, to first date to first job. God gifted you with a blessing: innocence, new beginnings, watching the same process you went through but filled with joy rather than pain…and you start to melt, from the inside outward.

Youngsters with your elastic, supple, ivory soap like skin…you will grow calloused over time … until you don’t. You have the ability to expedite the human condition by acknowledging this process and consciously electing to bypass it.

No freezing, no melting, just love.

Have a blessed weekend

Good morning, Americans! It’s Wednesday! (and Veteran’s Day)

Words cannot capture the emotion…

•I heard the other day that when a wife loses her husband, she is called – widow.

•When a child loses their parent, they are called – orphan.

•But when a parent loses their child…there is no word to describe it. It’s not supposed to happen. When it happens while they are serving their country, pride may be added to the myriad emotions the family goes through but pain runs deepest.

War is hell.
War is sacrifice beyond measure or explanation or expectation.
War leaves scars both visible and invisible.

Whether service in our armed forces included a war, a conflict, an invasion, the threat of war, peace keeping or exercises meant to prevent war, service men and women have my, and the nation’s, utmost respect.

Protectors of every freedom we enjoy in this country, THANK YOU for your service.

Good morning, Leaders! It’s Friday!

Walking through the TSA line on my way to a leadership team meeting I was facilitating, I notice the thread close to my…zipper…is unraveling. It looks like my fly is open even though it is not. Worse than that, I can’t just tug on the zipper to remedy the embarrassing moment. Huh.

I was fortunate to have a mending kit with and the time to “sew” that morning. I can’t operate a needle and thread (actual triage picture above). This is a prime example of function over form. The job ahead is to hold pants together for 12-14 hours. Doesn’t have to look pretty on the inside.

Busting at the seams doesn’t exactly scream “this is what success looks like” or “follow me”. It looks like you scrimped on the wardrobe budget or you’ve held on to something past it’s useful life. Neither was the case this time. Just a loose thread gone rogue.

What lessons did I take away from this:

• Be prepared. The sewing kit was old and I burned through two colors trying to secure the flap. But I had one, it worked and I’m glad I remembered it was there.

• Don’t get rattled. Hard to believe after seeing the stitches that I wasn’t bothered sitting on the toilet seat playing make-shift tailor. I had other options…dress pants or jeans in my carry on bag. Fixing this was about exercising self control.

• Stay focused on the prize. There will be obstacles on your daily journey. Rise above the moments and display tolerance. We’ve all heard the phrase “don’t sweat the small stuff…and it’s all small stuff” but do we reflect on how quickly we take the bait, get frazzled, frustrated and even fly off the handle?
OK, maybe that’s just me.

Smile at adversity. Welcome the challenges that get tossed your direction. Consider them God promptings. He wants you to be entirely dependent on him and we all require regular reminders.

Have a blessed weekend!

Good morning, Leaders! It’s Friday!

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”

Marcus Tullius Cicero
Roman Philosopher and Statesman
107 B.C. – 43 B.C.

Thank You. Two words.
While in Boston last week, I joined some of my Team during a pizza lunch before leaving for the week. Right before exiting, the senior staffer who started the office said to me in hush tones, “Are you going to say a few words?” …which isn’t really a question but I recognize a well placed rhetorical. (Kind of like, “Would you like a breath mint?”… There is only one answer.) To which I replied, “Maybe a couple”. His New England quit wit came right back with, “I hope it’s not ‘You’re fired’.” Not at all. It was …Thank You.

Thank You. Three times.
My dear wife Carole has been following Wayne Dyer for a while now and his recent passing was sad for both of us. His humility, approach and testament to living a peaceful, spiritual life has made a difference in our lives. After his passing, his company made one of his latest movies (The Shift) available for viewing online. As we watched it together, one scene showed him waking up and once he sat upright, he said “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” The very first words out of his mouth. What a great way to start the day!

Thank You. It’s contagious.
When I arrived in Fargo last Friday, it was raining. I flew the last leg on the tiniest jet in the fleet so even my international carry-on-sized roller wouldn’t fit. I had to gate check it which usually means waiting for the bag to come through the luggage carousel, a ritual I have been less than enthused about for some time now and have taken extensive steps to avoid. I was preparing to stand by the carousel for a duration eerily similar to the length of the last flight, patience spent. To my surprise, here is one of the ground crew bringing up the gate-checked carry ons to the jet bridge in a rain slicker. Even my crusty faced, travel weary carcass couldn’t help but say, “Thank You!” She looked at me with a bit of a surprise like I’m just doing my job, but the rain is kind of a pain, flashed a big smile and said “Thank You!” right back.

What two words expressing a genuine sentiment can have more of an impact?

I appreciate what you are doing.
I appreciate what you did.
I appreciate who you are.
I recognize your contributions.
I honor your efforts.
I empathize with your plight and even if it’s in your position description and you get compensated for it, I’m glad you are here providing this service.
I love you.

I can’t even comprehend what it would be like if you started a revolution today with an attitude of gratitude. No judgement… just appreciation, noble intent and love.

No time like the present.

Have a blessed weekend!…and Thank You for reading, commenting and forwarding.

Good morning, Leaders! It’s Friday!

Do you remember as a child, in elementary school, studying what your Dad/Mom “did” (to earn a living)? Or maybe it was just a question asked on the playground when kids are trying to unconsciously size up the other kids socioeconomic status answering the burning question of “Will I have anything in common with this kid?”

My Dad drove a truck; simple and pure answer and it was something he loved to do. It was not close to comprehensive, it was just a check the box answer. He was a proud man who sought to make a difference with the resources put in front of him. He did it his way, pushing tired iron to it’s limits because he couldn’t afford new.

The rest of the story…

Dad passed earlier this year and quite honestly I’ve been tied up emotionally with other issues and haven’t processed his death fully. Maybe a little more today.

Dad was a general contractor. He was resourceful and a bit of a modern day alchemist. It takes loads of vision and passion to see coal ash and broken concrete and decide you can make something out of it that people will pay you for.

You may have heard Barbara Mandrell sing, “I was country when country wasn’t cool”…well Dad recycled stuff and made it economical well before the general public embraced a carbon neutral or zero impact footprint. In fact, if Steve Jobs is getting credit for pushing people to extraordinary limits beyond what they thought they could do by brow beating them, screaming at them in meetings and insisting that they produce exactly what he was looking for…my Dad was channeling Jobs before Jobs was cool and Apple was putting a dent in the universe…who knew?

He had undeniable influence on me and instilled in me and my siblings qualities that we carry around today, whether on our sleeve or deep in our hearts.

My brother happens to drive a truck today. As the oldest in the family, he broke in Mom and Dad so the rest of us could sail through childhood. He and I became inexpensive and highly accessible labor, including driving truck. It was enjoyable and rewarding enough that he ultimately chose it as his vocation. Like Dad, he’s much more than a truck driver. As an owner-operator, a businessman with innovative problem solving skills, persistence in delivering oversized loads in a variety of conditions and a skilled and experienced technician…there is no hill too high for him to climb. He, like Dad, is an entrepreneur. A successful entrepreneur.

In closing, I’m reminded of a former pastor who ended each sermon with the statement, “As you go out into the world this week remember that every one is fighting a battle of some kind, so be gentle.” In that spirit, recognize that there is no such thing as just a truck driver. We may have been forgiven for a childish oversimplification when we were young, but not today.

Can you think of someone in your life you have overlooked or oversimplified that deserves a little more consideration?

Have a blessed weekend

Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!

The movie with the same name depicts a single guy, played by George Clooney, who has spent so much time in airports and airplanes that he’s at the edge of a major mileage milestone. He’s a savvy traveler who understands the most efficient way to get through security, sits up front in the big seats and gets treated well by flight attendants but few others. He’s become comfortable with a difficult situation and learned to make the most of it.

My ambitious daughter has been down this road, or should I say flight path, in the last couple of years racking up air miles and staying in different cities nearly every night. She’s younger, more resilient and needed to establish herself in the eyes of her company & colleagues (and probably even herself, I suspect). It’s an endurance test, a marathon and requires an enormous amount of patience. I’m sure she learned just as I am now that if you spend all your energy just tolerating the monster-sized commutes, you can’t be fully present to do the job you were hired to do.

Enter the old man. I heard 70 is the new 50 so I’m going to extrapolate that 50 is the new 30 and therefore I got plenty of gas in the tank for this new journey. After all, I’m a rolling stone, not Mick Jagger or Keith Richards, just an object in constant motion, now graduated to a new, higher level.

*By age 14, I had a driver’s license and have been chalking up serious road time since then, before that it was unlicensed driving with unlicensed vehicles…seemed rational (and I rarely questioned the boss).
*500 miles/day driving gravel truck was pretty common for several Summers.
*I’ve commuted, baby. 16 years of 90 miles, 1-way, 5 days a week, not counting the places I traveled to from there and then there was the weekend travel.
*Turns out I love to ride motorcycles and snowmobiles so traversing terrain of all sorts is in my blood.
*A few years ago I became more mobile when we bought a home 230 miles away from home base. My commute grew by more than double. It wasn’t daily but it was frequent and regular and stretched me …once again.
*My life journey has led me to a new opportunity to once again extend the reach of how far I will travel on a regular basis to (stay in regular contact with my Team and) do my job. Gulf Coast-to-East coast-to-West coast, it’s exciting, interesting, challenging and occasionally exhausting.

Reader, consider the stage adequately set.

While my patience gets tested by the taxi or Uber driver, gate agent, passengers far too large for their purchased seat…adjacent to yours…so they spill over into your personal, already crowded space…around the arm rest (meh), the mountain of change, sharp learning curve, new culture or shifting patterns compared to the last lifestyle from whence I came (and grew comfortable in), I am reminded of a few of the truths I have come to know.
Namely,

I believe.
I believe we all get tested on a regular basis.
How we respond to the adversity that is usually imbedded in these tests DEFINES us. Show up well…someone is always keeping score.

Know thyself.
Knowing how you react in each given situation to the level of detail that you realize your micro facial muscles “tell” your intended or unintended audience what you’re really thinking.
Smile more…It puts people at ease.

Do your absolute best.
When you half-ass anything, and I mean ANYTHING, you’ve wasted time doing it partially correct and a little voice is telling you that someone else will have to come back and correct what you consciously elected to not do well.
Understand what the Standard of Care is for any particular task, job, requirement or expectation … and meet or exceed it.

Teddy Roosevelt said “Do what you can with what you have where you are at.”

Don’t leave adversity, yourself or your responsibilities up in the air. Grab hold, own it, anticipate outcomes, respect the process and deliver (like your Grandma’s watching…because she probably is).

Have a blessed weekend.

Good morning, Leaders! It’s Friday!

Do you get excited about new stuff that may take time to get used to or do you prefer the worn and comfy feel of well broken in leather… like a baseball glove, a lounge chair or a satchel?

I started a new chapter this week and it has forced me to be a participant of serious Change that I’ve heralded for so long as a good thing. John Kotter breaks down the arduous process of facilitating change in his book “Leading Change” (However, I prefer the shorter version “Our iceberg is melting”). If you’re inclined to read anything I reference, I’d start with the iceberg book.

What became evident for me at the end of multiple meetings this week is just how good it feels to reengage with brilliant, caring, problem solvers. I thoroughly enjoy the personalities I’m getting to know quickly and although I may have given a poorly behaved reception to change when it was thrust on me like a bucket of ice water.

So what’s different, what’s new, what’s the big deal?

New company, new boss, new colleagues, new clients, new challenges, new opportunities, new locations, new hurdles, new perspectives, new ideas, new rules, new priorities and new appreciation for what I’ve learned and with whom I’ve been blessed to share this journey.

Have a blessed weekend!

Good morning, Leaders! It’s Friday!

Last week, I sent a quick note to explain that I needed to focus on my upcoming and new commitment and I would be putting down my drum sticks for a while.

One of the faithful readers reminded me that this was not the time to step away from a weekly commitment. Rather, now is when the “best stuff” should be coming out. Thanks for the prompting, kid.

I have been a long time fan of Winston Churchill, who is famous for his grit, determination, flaws and failures but mostly for his perseverance. One of his famous quotes was “Never give in–never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.” Without this conviction, the world could very easily be an entirely different place today.

I recently quoted Calvin Coolidge who qualified the value of pressing on above Talent and Genius and Education.  “Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”

Finally, in the book ‘Think and Grow Rich’ by Napoleon Hill, the author recounts the story of R. U. Darby and his uncle who worked a gold mine in Colorado and once they ran through the obvious vein of gold, they dug for a while longer but grew discouraged and quit digging and sold the equipment for scrap. A much larger vein, where millions of dollars of gold were taken, was found just 3 more feet past where the Darby’s quit digging!

So,
I will press on, I won’t give up and I’ll keep on digging for “gold”…as long as you leaders promise to do the same.

Have a blessed weekend!