Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!

We are in week 3 of cultivating emotional resilience, from the text by Dr. Amit Sood, Handbook for Happiness.

A few salient points in the excerpts from this chapter,

Acceptance is:

•Finding contentment as you strive to progress (paradox)

•Dancing with life rather than feeling like you are being pushed around.

•Practicing acceptance requires both objectivity and willingness.

•Choosing to play the hand you have been dealt because the only other choice is not to play.

•Experiencing more, evaluating less.

I’m reminded of the serenity prayer,

by Reinhold Niebuhr:

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.”

This one is extremely hard for me. It feels a little like giving up. If we aspire to greatness, and if I suffer from perfectionist tendencies, the idea of acceptance feels like I’m lowering expectations. The only way for me to back down is to be conscious about giving myself grace. Perfection is the enemy of good and we live in a broken world. Just because we want everything to be perfect doesn’t mean that will ever happen.

If you are known as a control freak, accepting the fact that the one thing you can actually control is the way you react to the things that happen to you. As the quote goes recently shared with me, “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”

Have a blessed weekend!

Eric

Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!!

It’s summer, school is out, the weekend is almost here and I’m about to drop a few more digital breadcrumbs.

Continuing on with our Happiness formula, based on Dr Sood’s book “Handbook for Happiness” we explore the concept of …

•Compassion

A few excerpts

“The pursuit of compassion will make you happier than the pursuit of happiness will” hmmmm

“Compassion decreases suffering, helps those in need and also celebrates together. It is the practice of the golden rule.”

“Four steps to compassion are:

1. Recognize suffering

2. Validate suffering

3. Set intention

4. Decrease suffering”

“Formula:

Upset=hurt=call for help”

My view:

Compassion is often viewed as a sign of weakness, a soft spot or vulnerability. Most people are afraid to show that, for fear of being taken advantage of. In my experience, you have to be very strong, very secure and very stable to show compassion…and yes, the recipient might try to take advantage of your kindness. You can be both compassionate and wise, caring with boundaries. Like a lifeguard, you can save someone from drowning but there is a chance they’ll drag you down with them if you don’t have the right tools, apply the proper techniques and start the process by taking care of yourself first.

Have a blessed weekend!

Eric

Good Morning, Team! It’s Friday!

I mentioned last week that happiness is a goal (“I know I want to be happy”) but it’s more of a journey than a destination to be ready for at the end of your life. We all want absolution, too, but along the way, we strive to thrive not just put in our time.

I think that starts with gathering information and gets better when we process it and put the info to good use.

To that point,

Dr. Amit Sood of the Mayo Clinic wrote “Handbook for Happiness” and referred to something called cultivating emotional resilience. He makes it easy to digest with five steps, the first being…

Gratitude

Dr Sood describes it like this:

“Gratitude is being blessed and knowing you are blessed.”

Perspective is a huge part of this effort. Knowing you are blessed means you know how good you have it, and appreciating it. Things we take for granted that others don’t have?

•more than 1 Billion people don’t have safe drinking water

•more than 800 Million people don’t have enough food

•more than 100 Million people don’t have a place to live

“With true gratitude, you find reasons to be thankful instead of waiting for something extraordinary.”

“Use your hurts as lessons to help you grow.”

Finally, he writes, “Most transformations are seeded by adversity.”

I was labeled as “driven” by my Dad early in life. I was encouraged to increase the denominator of the fraction (want more). The simple truth we’ve all heard is that money (often tied to the “more”) can’t buy happiness. Success is a good thing but the love of money leads to misery.

My takeaway? To practice and increase gratitude, you should lower your expectations, be content with enough, look for opportunities to be grateful, starting with the small stuff. Food, water and shelter isn’t small stuff for a lot of people on the planet but if you’re reading this, you are incredibly blessed and probably not stressing about basic needs.

See if you can identify some other little blessings, remember them often and increase your gratitude.

Have a blessed weekend!

Eric

Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!

Reflecting after Memorial Day, when we take time to honor the men and women who fought for our freedoms we enjoy, what do we owe them besides taking a day per year to celebrate?

I believe we have been overwhelmed with blessings and easily lose sight of how good we have it … that we take far too many things for granted, not just our freedom. Like most things, we don’t appreciate it until we’ve lost it:

•Health

•Mobility

•Autonomy

•Security

•Love

We are bombarded with news 24/7 that tells us that this world is broken yet we enjoy an insulated existence to most of it and find a way to complain about the things that aren’t quite perfect…

I have been given another gift, albeit difficult at times to categorize it this way. My latest gift has allowed me time to reflect, build new and better habits, gain a higher appreciation for the things around me, a chance to slow down, if even for a little while, and to plan and execute a way to be my best self as I take on each day in front of me.

Here are the things I do differently today than I did even 6 months ago:

•Exercise-even when I don’t feel like it

•Show love-regularly so people know my heart and don’t have to interpret expressions on my face.

•Nap more-because I can and because I’m listening to my body when it doesn’t get the rest it needs.

•Get a regular massage-no matter how gratuitous this sounds, if I wear tension on my body, it shows up on my face and affects my disposition and how I show up.

•Pray (more regularly and more often during the day)-inner peace, a stronger faith and a better outlook are all benefits of prayer for me.

I don’t know how long I’ll live, how long I’ll work, how I’ll spend time five or ten years from now but I know I want to be happy, productive, loving, caring and leave things, people, and society better than I found them so I know I better show up with my best self every single day.

Have a blessed weekend!

Eric

Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!

I heard this term last weekend and it brought back memories. In 1997, the Red River Valley was flooded wreaking havoc on North Dakota and Minnesota. Present value of damage approaches $8 billion! Grand Forks, ND seemed to be the worst location impacted and I spent a lot of time there helping the University of North Dakota get their campus back on its feet. Since it was also the Army Corps of Engineers Operations Center, we also helped the city to get back on its feet.

Our family general contracting business used to own, operate and maintain carbureted, gas-powered cars, pick-ups, tractors, maintainers, loaders, crushers and trucks. When something went wrong with gas motors, often times the float would stick in the carburetor and the motor would get flooded with too much gas. Not the same impact as a river overflowing its banks but frustrating nonetheless. You start machinery to use it, not to work on it.

This specific flooded reference was regarding emotions. The biggest culprit cited as the cause of flooding emotions was social media. One comparison I heard was like a five year old jacked up on candy and you expect them to sit still after gobbling up pounds of sugar. 🤔

Are we much different? If we feast on social media content that stirs up an emotional frenzy, like

-she looks really good, I wish I looked like that

-they just took an extravagant trip, I always wanted to go there

-he just bought a fancy car, man I bet that’s fun to drive

…and then we go to a work meeting or we talk to our spouse or we try to communicate with a friend…with our brains flooded with emotion…how do you suppose that goes?

Are we showing up as our best selves?

Are we even being fully present?

Distractions are not only the enemy of production, they negatively impact the quality of our lives. Mix in an emotional ingredient and you have a recipe for constant disappointment.

Challenge: Evaluate how much time you spend on all the things today. Be honest, look specifically at your screen time (cell phone, computer and TV). Once you come up with an accurate number, make a goal to cut it in half (oh yes you can). Replace that time with uninterrupted connections with your loved ones, gather beauty, invest in your health, make a plan to unshackle yourself from the excessive garbage that’s stealing your real joy and filling your coffers with fools gold.

Have a blessed Memorial Day weekend!

Eric

Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!

Some people are prone to find wrong with everything. Thus the saying, “He’d bitch about being hung with a new rope.” There’s a little tension or dose of reality in the phrase because…shit happens…and most people do not naturally take it in stride.

I’ve been fully engaged with the NBA this year and our Timberwolves are fun to watch right now. Current opposing team, the Denver Nuggets, have a multi-year MVP who is tough to win against. Shaquille O’Neal, a former pro basketball player, successful businessman and sportscaster interviewed Nikola Jokic recently and grilled him for his most recent MVP title saying he should feel bad that his stats didn’t match up to others. Jokic took it in stride, praised his fellow nominees and looked forward to proving he was worthy of the title by playing great basketball. He didn’t strike back at Shaq, he didn’t throw a fit or complain, he’s playing the long game and he shrugged it off. (Let me be clear, I hope the Wolves win on Sunday but you can’t ignore the professionalism exhibited in the story above).

Gratitude is not naïveté. You can be thankful for adversity. You can see past the shit and realize you’re being given the gift of perspective. If everything went your way you’d think you deserved it all or you earned it and eventually wouldn’t know how to handle defeat gracefully, if at all.

Lift your head up for a minute. Breathe. Look around. Relax. Gain perspective. Reserve judgement. Count your blessings. Help others. Forgive those who mistreated you. Rise above the noise, the cynicism and the bullshit. Chart your course and set sail again.

Have a blessed weekend!

Eric

Good morning, Team! It’s Thursday afternoon Friday! Tomorrow morning is stacked…

If ever there was something that should improve with age, it is self-control. Typically not because we mature as we grow older but because we learn from our mistakes.

“When I was a chid, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.” 1 Corinthians 13:11

Blurting out the first thing that pops into your head, questioning authority and making poor choices all have negative consequences. Being patient, understanding and assuming noble intent are products of self-control…a better path.

Your confidence level in recognizing there is a bigger plan and that snap judgements, impetuous behavior and self-serving actions are detrimental to a whole lot more than just your world is part of becoming an adult and embracing self-control.

Referring to all the fruits of the Spirit,

“Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:23

This ends the series about good choices we should all be focusing on. There are so many distractions in our life and if you aspire to be happier, healthier and attract more “flies”, stick to the positives and let the negatives dissipate in the wind and burn off in the sun.

Have a blessed weekend!

Eric

Good Morning, Team! It’s Friday!

As we work through fruits of the spirit, gentleness is the next to last stop.

Gentleness is a quality characterized by kindness, tenderness, and empathy towards others. It involves treating others with sensitivity, patience, and compassion, often expressed through soft words, gestures, and actions.

My world growing up had few examples of gentleness. Life was very straightforward and there was little room for coddling or sensitivities. As a family business driven by an ex-military patriarch, we were results-oriented with clear direction and daily “marching orders”.

So what do I know about gentleness?

As a son, husband, father, grandfather, and over time an empathic leader, I was exposed to a variety of behaviors and styles and found that, as the old saying goes, “you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar”. Meaning, it is best to seek to understand before asking to be understood. If you don’t know what someone is dealing with, you aren’t going to get their best. Thus, being empathic, understanding, and compassionate is not just the right thing to do as a human, it’s also the most efficient way to get your point across.

I’ll close with the line from a former pastor, “As you go out into the world this week, be gentle, because everyone is fighting a battle of some kind.”

Have a blessed weekend!

Eric

Good afternoon, Team! It’s Friday!

Faithfulness is the steadfast loyalty, trustworthiness, and commitment to someone or something, especially in relationships or duties. It involves consistency, reliability, and dedication over time.

On being trustworthy…researcher Robert M Kramer writes,

“Human beings are naturally predisposed to trust-it’s in our genes and our childhood learning-and by and large it’s a survival mechanism that has served our species well. That said, our willingness to trust often gets us into trouble. Moreover, we sometimes have difficulty distinguishing trustworthy people from untrustworthy ones. At a species level, that doesn’t matter very much so long as more people are trustworthy than not. At the individual level, though, it can best be a real problem.”

In duties-let’s say you are in a leadership position where people put their trust in you to do the right thing for the organization you are there to lead, manage or govern. Being faithful to the company means putting your own preferences, interests and desires on the back burner. In my experience this is an area where many fall short of being faithful to the right thing. The order seems to get mixed up. If you are faithful to the company, you might get rewarded for your efforts but that is a risk you gladly take. If you are faithful to yourself and put your own preferences in front of the company, you might get by for a while … but selfishness before faithfulness will catch up to those who think no one is the wiser. It might take time, but it will happen.

Have a blessed weekend!

Eric

Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!

Goodness remains an essential pillar of society, perhaps even more so in a world grappling with complex challenges and social divides. In the midst of technological advancements and rapid globalization, the need for goodness—manifested through compassion, empathy, and ethical conduct—becomes increasingly evident.

In today’s interconnected world, goodness serves as a unifying force, bridging cultural, religious, and ideological differences. It fosters empathy and understanding, encouraging individuals to recognize and respect the inherent dignity and worth of every human being. In a society marked by diversity, goodness promotes inclusivity and celebrates the richness of human experience.

Moreover, goodness plays a crucial role in addressing pressing societal issues such as poverty, inequality, and environmental degradation. It inspires individuals and communities to take action, whether through volunteerism, activism, or advocacy, to uplift the marginalized and promote justice and sustainability.

In the digital age, goodness extends to our online interactions, where kindness and civility are often overshadowed by anonymity and polarization. Embracing goodness in the digital realm means fostering constructive dialogue, combating misinformation, and using technology as a tool for positive change and connection rather than division.

Goodness in 2024 involves holding institutions and leaders accountable for their actions and advocating for policies that prioritize the well-being of all members of society, especially the most vulnerable.

It might be tempting to equate goodness with naïveté since cynicism and sarcasm and bashing and character assassination are so rampant and tolerated today. Goodness in today’s society is not a relic of the past but a timeless principle that remains as relevant and vital as ever. It serves as a guiding light in navigating the complexities of the modern world, inspiring individuals to strive for a more compassionate, just, and sustainable future for all.

Choosing to model goodness will not be easy and won’t stack up with getting ahead with less-than-noble intent in the short term but it is the right thing for now and even more clearly when you reflect back on which road you took.

Look for ways to spread some goodness today.

Have a blessed weekend!

Eric