Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!

What is love?

I’ve been reading and researching to better understand what I used to believe was a simple explanation to an emotion we all feel (or hope to feel) regularly.

Some of the research is captured below:

“We are never so vulnerable as when we love.” Sigmund Freud

In her book, Daring Greatly, Brené Brown describes vulnerability as “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” It’s that unstable feeling we get when we step out of our comfort zone or do something that forces us to loosen control.

Dr. Sue Johnson writes in Hold Me Tight, that love is “the pinnacle of evolution, the most compelling survival mechanism of the human species. Not because it induces us to mate and reproduce. We do manage to mate without love! But because love drives us to bond emotionally with a precious few others who offer us safe haven from the storms of life. Love is our bulwark, designed to provide emotional protection so we can cope with the ups and downs of existence.”

Simon Sinek recently posted “best definition of love I’ve ever heard: Love is giving someone the power to destroy you and trusting they won’t use it.”

So it seems then, you know you are in love when you allow yourself to be vulnerable, bond emotionally to survive the volatility of a broken world, and trust your partner implicitly. Not a warm and fuzzy description but…honest and gritty.

By now you’re asking yourself why this topic and why now?

•The blog has been my backup when I’m not regularly communicating on another platform. “Musings” were the way one former coworker described them.

•After a lengthy hiatus, my career journey brought me back to this place where I pontificate, share, smack the reader over the head one message and whisper in their subconscious the next.

•”Precious few” as Dr Johnson writes, become more obvious with adversity. I elected to dig into the why behind those who stand by when most are silent or have been posing when convenient but withdraw when needed. However cynical this may sound, if trust is the ultimate relationship currency, most don’t seem to be able to distinguish between certified and counterfeit vouchers.

Have a blessed weekend!

Eric

Good morning Team, It’s Friday!

Have you ever noticed how things will be moving along so well then something happens to disrupt forward progress? Or at least it might seem that way.

I spoke to one of my sons last night and found out that our granddaughter has been seriously ill for the past 2 days with 105 degree fever, throwing up and mostly inconsolable. My heart breaks for the whole family as they navigate illness, health systems, work and lack of sleep.

Anne has worked with someone for a number of years who recently found out that they have stage 4 cancer. Everyone is still processing the news and wondering how to help while the coworker is dealing with doctor visits, work schedule, family matters, emotions and fatigue.

Two days ago I connected with a former coworker who unbeknownst to me lost his father a couple of weeks ago to a massive heart attack at age 72. His parents were traveling from their Midwest home to a warmer location for a respite and stopped at my colleagues home along the way. Gasping for air, compressions, EMT shows up and works for 35 minutes before accepting he was not coming back.

It’s easy to believe if we do things a certain way that we can avoid adversity. Clean living, don’t offend anyone, eat your Wheaties, exercise, etc. and you’ll be golden. Then you hear about someone you know, someone you care about, someone you love…dealing with issues like the aforementioned, and you quickly gain perspective.

If your day is stressful, your plane is delayed, your car won’t start, you slipped on some ice, your new software won’t work as intended or a plethora of other issues impacting forward movement, pause, take a breath and remember the sage words from an old friend, “If it can be solved with money, it’s not really a problem.”

We get caught up thinking we are in control. We wonder when things don’t go as we had planned what we could have done differently. We would all benefit from remembering we are not in control, there are many forces in this world that don’t consult with us how things will transpire, shit happens. Another good friend recently shared the quote, “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react”.

Practicing gratitude for everything from another day with your loved ones to a hot shower, a brisk walk, the ability to laugh or to read and share thoughts … or, here is the tough part, expressing gratitude for hardships … is a great place to start.

Have a blessed weekend!

It’s been a while. I’m still here. Moving forward. still figuring myself out.

Grandpa. Dad. Brother. Son. Mostly husband.

Bald. Grumpy exterior. Compassionate interior. Mostly grateful.

The shadow above is recently cast while the weather cooperates and we bend the calendar to take advantage.

I had lunch the other day with my accountant. He’s a lot more than that; friend, Vistage brother, inspiration. I asked him the question that has been hounding me for years. “How much is enough?” I knew he’d have a good answer.

He shared more than he had to about his personal situation and I reciprocated. He also shared friends who passed who had plenty but they aren’t here to enjoy it. Sobering, more so at my age.

So the implication when someone asks that question is [money]. If you earn it, accumulate it and preserve it, what gets in the way of enjoying it? Health, career, obligations. What starts to erode it, besides taxes? Greed, foolishness, bad habits and lack of control.

What’s the answer? First, it isn’t really about money. Yes, you need a certain amount to survive at a certain level. The percentage of people who can live a similar lifestyle after they hang up their spurs is pretty small. The rest adapt and adjust.

The currency behind the question is not money. The basis for the question is how can I be happy for the rest of my life and the only response is quality relationships. The more you have the higher your life quality and the greater the enjoyment.

No one enjoys life without meaningful relationships.

Have a blessed weekend!

Good morning, Team! It’s Saturday!

My apologies for the extended hiatus. The new gig has me channeling most of my energy elsewhere.

I just left another stop on my too-many-city tour, trying to touch all the bases so I can retire in a decade completely confident I left it all on the floor and hoping the nest egg takes me to my last smiling breath.

Years ago, I was encouraged to get comfortable and make peace with my inner marshmallow. My executive coach felt like I might be a little angry. Not sure what at … but I came across as pissed off at the world. (Truth is, I am intense and contemplative…but it didn’t matter, perception is reality for most).

Years and years later, the inner marshmallow has consumed me. Chocked full of empathy, an active listener, doling out long, meaningful hugs, yoga in the morning, green tea drinking, squishy all the way through. Here I am. A tub of glorious goo.

Credit to the seeds planted by coach extraordinaire Damien, the tilled up soil in my soul from worldly events of broken promises, litigation, rejection, fraud, horrendous behavior and the like. Most of all to my love, Anne, who has been my gardener for nearly three years now.

I don’t care how tough you are, how much shit you’ve seen or been through. There is no permanent cure for humanity. If you let it harden you, life won.

Reconsider your priorities.

Have a blessed weekend!

Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!

I’ve had the privilege of visiting Mount Rushmore National Memorial several times in my life but learned something different on my most recent trip. Listening to a park service employee recount the artist and the work, the interruptions and the challenges, the work that more than two million visitors flock to each year is a far cry from the original intent and nowhere near “complete”. The question posed in the sculptor’s studio is whether the memorial is any less remarkable. She taunts, “You decide.”

George S Patton is credited with the statement, “A good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan executed next week.”

Mike Tyson famously said, “Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.”

Good leaders have a vision of what they’d like to see happen. Whether our tools are fists, rifles, dynamite or tongues, we all seek to carve out something significant, meaningful and valuable. The vision may not turn out exactly as planned (ie Jefferson’s nose breaking off resulting in his likeness being blasted off the left side of Washington) but the finished product still draws millions each year.

What examples can you think of that don’t align with your original vision? Did you have to change plans to reach your goal? Were you nimble enough to accomplish what you set out to? Were you tolerant of the obstacles and did you successfully navigate or were you derailed from realizing your vision?

I can think of many times where something trivial interrupted a good plan in my life and career. It can be devastating or mildly inconvenient but most of the time that depends on our attitude toward said interruption. We all get punched in the face at some point in our life. It tests our resolve and maybe alters the course but should not deter us from accomplishing what we set out to do.

I have grown to believe my life’s work is to help people and companies to reach their full potential; a nudge in the right direction, a challenge to the status quo. Not to do things for them, rather to help them realize their vision, carve their memorial and win their battles. One conversation at a time, one day at a time, building momentum.

As you go out in to the world this next week, remember to be gentle. Everyone is fighting a battle of some kind.

Have a blessed weekend!

Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!

Some call it Karma

Others claim hard work “pays off”

The uninformed would suggest it is luck

Is it destiny, choices, will, inevitability, privilege, the “secret” (positive thinking) or something beyond comprehension and explanation?

Why does it SEEM that things go well for some people and not so well for others?

I believe:

In the power of prayer

In people

In goodness prevailing

Everything happens for a reason

The truth

The Rolling Stones sang, “you can’t always get what you want…you get what you need.”

I went to the Mayo Clinic today and saw a variety of folks with obvious ailments seeking relief and others who showed no signs of trouble but they spent hours waiting to consult or were seeking answers to what ailed them…and it gave me pause.

Not everyone has a choice of how they reached the point they are at right now. Others made clear choices to arrive where they are today, whether obvious at the time or not, they cannot deny the correlation between choice and current state.

Whether illness, abnormality, laziness, or a combination…we all wake up and deal with the consequences daily.

Life happens and you can shake your fist at the sky or accept that you are not in control of what happens to you. Rather, you can adjust your attitude to the circumstance and

•make the best of it

•learn from it

•shrug off the bad and embrace the good

Over the holiday, we had a chance to visit “the lake” and the wonderful, resilient and positive people who are there today. We sang another song – this time, patriotic and reminiscent. It was a choice to rejoice. There was discussion of various maladies suffered by the group members but no one accepted that as their destiny. Just a bump in the road on their journey.

Choose to be positive.

Choose to be grateful.

Choose to be happy.

Choose to look forward at the pending opportunities, not the challenges before they were overcome.

You are blessed…go act like it.

Have a blessed weekend!

Good morning, Team! It’s Friday! (Father’s Day weekend is almost here)

Leadership lessons start at home. How did your Father (and Mother) prepare you to be a good citizen and a leader?

Kouzes and Posner, in the Leadership Challenge, break leadership development into five categories:

•model the way

•inspire a shared vision

•challenge the process

•enable others to act

•encourage the heart

I’ll focus on how my Dad prepped me for a potential leadership role…

•I was taught to work hard. Long hours, strenuous work, and Dad was always in front.

•I was told why we were doing what we did.

-Push the snow to the end of the storage location or the piles would freeze up and prevent you from using all of the space.

-Balance the truck tires after repair and reinstall so they don’t prematurely wear

-Grade the road to drain so soft spots don’t form resulting in stuck and/or damaged unusable equipment

•I was encouraged to think outside the box. Starting with the big picture, top of the funnel, here is what we need, this is the time we have to complete, you figure it out.

•I was often delegated to. I once heard my father say, a manager’s job is to do your work for 10 minutes that you then do for an entire day. Do it like this, per se. This was not Dad’s forte’.Enabling others to act might sound more like, a managers job is to ensure you have the tools, the training, the resources and the clarity to do your job well and to remove any hurdles that hinder your progress.

•Good Morning! Welcome to the land of the living! That site looks good! You really know how to operate that blade! You kept things moving while we were out!We were not awash with praise in my household. It was rationed like cheese during the Great Depression. It came once in a while so it stood out. The absence then and how it made me feel then created empathy so that I would pay attention today. I had a boss who used to say, “I believe everyone wants to do a good job.” My former, more cynical self would silently disagree. Today, I can admit I was wrong about that.

Leaders, no one likes false praise but everyone likes to be caught doing something right. One of your jobs is to pay close enough attention when it happens that you acknowledge it in the way that individual most appreciates it.

Personal note:My father had Alzheimer’s during the last four and a half years of his life. Visits toward his end of life seemed futile and selfish. The last day I stopped to see him, he was in bed, face down … I spoke up from the doorway to his memory care unit room and asked how he was doing and he simply said “Tough”. That was it. A few days later he was gone.

Love your Fathers while they are here.

Honor their memory when they are gone.

Carry the leadership lessons forward that they first taught you.

Have a blessed weekend!

Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!

This phrase has a negative connotation for me. Goes back to my childhood where people look at you, cock their head a little, maybe sneer and question your presence. As soon as you walk away, while still in earshot, there was often a comment like, “I don’t know what he’s up to, but I know he’s up to somethin’.”

You bet I was.

•Working

•Studying

•Practicing piano, saxophone or listening to jazz artists on a record or cassette tape

•Or a number of other things a motivated kid whose family business demanded full attention

Fast forward to today. Same line, different meaning.

What are you up to, Michel?

•Working

•Studying

•Listening to music (of all genres)

•Exercising

•Eating right

•Being present for family and friends

•Pulling together some thoughts and sprinkling them around like digital bread crumbs (aka blog)

•Or a number of things that a motivated middle-aged man might do after being conditioned through his formative years with a work ethic that defies logic or common sense

No matter your age, your vocation, your disposition or your physical condition, I hope you’re up to somethin’

Somethin’ good

Good for others that in turn becomes good for you.

Somethin’ fun

We should all be required to laugh daily, lift your spirits, have somethin’ to look forward to(A little treat in the pantry, an ice cream cone on a hot day, a hug or kiss or pat on the back), a long walk in nature.

Somethin’ with purpose

Relevant, benevolent, compassionate…the kind of thing that gives you a tingle and reminds you that it’s not all about you.

Challenge:Get out of your norm this weekend and find somethin’ special to do. Call an old friend, donate some time, talent or treasure, forgive yourself or someone you should have already. Smile in the mirror until it looks natural.

Have a blessed weekend!

Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!

What are we meant for?

I had occasion to go back through Viktor Frankl’s “Man’s search for meaning” again last week. A gift from my daughter and a must read for all, he breaks this question down to three things (I have simplified … because it’s a blog) that bring meaning:

1. Work
2. Love
3. Transforming tragedy to triumph

If you go into any of these areas without courage, it ends badly. If you choose to be less than authentic, it still doesn’t end well.

Bringing warrior courage to work seems logical but be careful not to confuse behavior with intent. In this day and age, being courageous may be as simple as getting out of bed and doing your job when you are sore, mentally fatigued or displeased with your manager. It does not mean you plow through the day cussing everyone you don’t like or dismissing someone because they don’t share your passion for life. A warrior mindset is to win-be nimble, agile, fluid then decisive and resolute.

Bringing warrior courage to love is much different. It is important to be your authentic self but it also requires you to be vulnerable. All lasting and meaningful relationships start with trust. If you don’t show your weaknesses and vulnerabilities, you aren’t trusting your potential partner, thereby adversely affecting the relationship. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” 1 Corinthians 13:4. That requires courage.

Transforming tragedy to triumph takes more warrior energy than most can muster. Who faults those who end up discouraged, demoralized and defeated? Life is hard and we live in a broken world. However, overcoming tragedy, persevering, conquering whatever force it might be that knocked you down or kicked your ass…is gloriously triumphant. It takes a warrior’s heart to fight and win at that game.

I could list personal pain and defeat [here] and it would add another layer of credibility to this blog. I have plenty of scars to share … but we’ll save those for another time. Instead, I’m going to ask that you picture your own circumstance and take inventory of how many things you’ve overcome to get to where you are. I bet it’s a good list! But you don’t read this blog for a feel good 3 minutes. You read it to grow.

Now ask yourself, are you celebrating in the foothills when you should be summiting?
What tragedies have yet to be transformed in your life and how will you beckon your inner warrior?

Have a blessed weekend!

Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!

Trust in the Lord forever for the Lord, the Lord himself is the Rock eternal. Isaiah 26:4

Trust is like a piece of paper. Once it’s crumpled, it can’t be perfect again. Author unknown

If I cut you off, chances are you handed me the scissors. William Turner

How do you view trust and how important is it to you? Many believe it is the foundation to any lasting relationship. Patrick Lencioni approaches it from the negative side in a work/Team setting to make a point how destructive the absence is:

“The first dysfunction is an absence of trust among team members. Essentially, this stems from their unwillingness to be vulnerable within the group. Team members who are not genuinely open with one another about their mistakes and weaknesses make it impossible to build a foundation for trust.”

Building trust is straight forward but can be elusive. If you try to rush it, like “Trust me!” It usually has the opposite effect. It is not something you can demand but something that is earned, for most people, it happens over time.

As Dhar Mann says, “Trust takes years to build, seconds to break and a lifetime to repair.”

It is hard to follow a leader you don’t trust. It is hard to work with someone you don’t trust. It is hard to have any sort of lasting and meaningful relationship with someone you don’t trust. Be conscious and deliberate in how you earn it, how you give it and what it means.

Challenge: Take inventory of your top ten relationships. People you spend the most time with and gain the most value from. Ask yourself if those people are genuinely open about their mistakes and weaknesses and how that factors in to their relationship with you. Now turn the tables. How genuinely open are you with them regarding mistakes and weaknesses? How can you improve that?

Build some more trust today. You can never have too much.

Have a blessed weekend!