Good morning, Leaders! It’s Friday!

The past seven days have been chocked full of counsel.
•I spoke with two former attorney colleagues this week. We caught up on family and living and spoke not one word about cases or issues or bad actors…because it would have spoiled the reunion.

•I traveled to the Mayo to seek physical counsel on a certain getting-older-kind-of-matter no one ever tells you about
-the doctor told me two things
•as men grow old, four things getter bigger; your nose, your ears, your cranial bones (skull) and your prostate.
•you must train your bladder instead of waiting for it to scream at you…use the rest room every 2-3 hours. So much for driving through for hours to save a few minutes between points. Minutes on the road in discomfort may translate to years in a diaper at the wrong end of the lifecycle.

•I met for lunch with a colleague a couple of days ago and received tremendous spiritual counsel on forgiveness
-putting things into perspective, if God can forgive everyone for all of their sins, who are we to not forgive the comparatively petty things we suffer while here on earth.
-the false self (any voice we listen to that is not that of Jesus) lures us away from critically important things and tempts us to focus on self serving garbage that has no value-fools gold, if you will.

Three solid experiences with different counsellors on different topics.

On different days, in a position of a leader, I counsel. Providing advice, provoking thought, increasing self and situational awareness, mindfulness and inspiring innovative thinking.

How is it that a counselor requires counseling?

Well, even top golfers have coaches. Top professionals in all vocations seek experts to improve their performance. I think they call it lifelong learning. Learning requires humility and genuine humility tends to win over any situation, learning or otherwise. Tim McGraw sings about it with lines like
“Don’t hold a grudge or a chip and here’s why:
Bitterness keeps you from flyin'”

Seek counsel.
Forgive because you’ve been forgiven.
Stay humble and kind.
Open your heart.
Open your mind.
Lead.

Have a blessed weekend!

Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!

I have a successful businessman friend who says his attention span is seventeen seconds. On the surface, it sounds like self deprecation. The more I dug into it, I realized he’s bragging! Interesting enough the average human attention span has decreased from 12 seconds in the year 2000 down to 8 seconds today, officially below that of a goldfish, weighing in at 9 seconds. The blame for the dramatic decrease … the smartphone.

Have you noticed more distracted driving lately? Look close enough and you’ll see a large number of “drivers” looking at their phone for email, texting, calling, checking the navigation or whatever it might be that steals their focus. Steals their focus to stay between the lines, use their signals, brake gradually…avoid running over the curb, into another car, or over a pedestrian or a bicyclist.

Art imitates life and I make reference to movies often because I have a short…time and space to write blogs (you thought I was going to say attention span, didn’t you). If a picture is worth a thousand words, a movie is worth millions. In that light, have you watched the movie “seven pounds”? Will Smith plays a character who can identify with this topic and spends the rest of his life trying to rectify an irreversible mistake.

Another movie that highlights a severe lack of focus is “Up”. The adorable dog character Dug struggles to stay on point and frequently breaks a conversation looking for a “squirrel!”

We used to think it was funny. The shiny object syndrome (SOS) or attention deficit disorder (ADD) can be comical as the YouTube clip shows but it’s become a more significant issue not only to be made fun of but to be immensely more aware of.

Naturally, the next question might be how do we overcome this? If smartphones had such an impact, what do we do to reverse the effects…or prevent them in the first place?

Being present, mindful and start putting your phone in the “glove” compartment before you put the car in gear.

Have a blessed weekend!

 

Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!

We probably think most about the heart on Valentine’s Day. Vendors like Hallmark cards, Brach’s candy and FTD flowers make us ever so aware of and stay busy in preparation for that day.

Second thing most people likely think about is the American Heart Association and their information campaign that has improved the quality of life for those who listened and took action in how they approach physical heart health.

I’d like to look at the heart from a slightly different perspective. Not paper, chocolate, flowers or the incredible blood pump but part of us often connected with feelings, compassion and a connection to our souls.

Each day I pray for God to open my heart, cleanse my heart and fill my heart with his word.

A friend who was providing counsel on an issue I’ve been struggling with offered the following bible passages as well as a testament of some of his own dealings of the heart.

Proverbs 4:23: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
Proverbs 27:19: “As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart.”
Proverbs 17:22: “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”
Psalm 31:24: “Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.”
Psalm 90:12: “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”

My takeaway from digesting these passages:
•You cannot function well as a person (whether in the capacity of a spouse, a parent, a child, or a friend) if your heart is misaligned
•You cannot function well for others if you don’t understand yourself
•You cannot function well as a leader if you rely solely on your mind and ignore your heart

My typical purpose is not to assemble all the answers or even hammer home a point. Rather, I prefer to provoke thought. This morning is a substantial provocation that should set in motion your mindful journey, your personal deliberation of what your heart means to you and whether you are aligned.

Have a blessed weekend.

Good morning, Leaders! It’s Friday!

If you own a television you’ve probably seen some portion of the physical feats captured in South America this last couple of weeks. Over 10,000 athletes competed for a few hundred medals and the lifelong recognition and fame.

These athletes dedicate most of their lives to training and performing to compete with the rest of the world for the rare opportunity to be considered the leader in their sport. Fastest man on earth, most medals won, most points scored, amateur, professional…we think we determine who is best.

The spectacle, at least to this point, seems to justify the incredible amount of waste, corruption, cheating and ridiculous behavior that accompanies it.

Isn’t it a touch ironic that the intended celebration of human wonder and global sport competition is, at the same time, an indicator of how horrible people can become?

I don’t blame the athletes. I blame the governance who abused their position for personal gain, abandoned their global obligation of humanitarianism before sport and tarnished countless lives. The agony of defeat pales in comparison to a lifetime of misery from torn down homes to bankrupt cities…all in the interest of the games.

Did we really put the importance of a foot race higher than the human race?
I thought we were smarter than that.

Have a blessed weekend.

Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!

Jack Nicholson’s character in the movie “As good as it gets” trips over his tongue a lot during the movie but finally spits out to Helen Hunt’s character- “You make me want to be a better man.” Forecast, meant-to-be and received as a compliment, he succeeds in getting her to not walk out of the room, at least not at that moment. The magic of that line is a very proud man who is fighting his demons as best as he can, finds inspiration from a beautiful woman. Inspiration to dig a little deeper to take a chance on something he hates doing, taking pills, for the slightly better than 50% chance that it might improve his condition (obsessive compulsive disorder). Thus making him more presentable and perhaps increasing his chance of building a relationship with this quick-witted, jaded waitress just trying to provide for her special needs son.

The movie is superbly done but it points out the length a stubborn, broken, set-in-their-ways person will go for the right reasons.

So, in perhaps a less dramatic way we all struggle with the armor we strap on that may keep us from being better. It becomes the excuse we use to stop learning. It’s hard to make ourselves vulnerable. We tell ourselves things like:
•I’m all grown up now.
•I should know that by now so if I don’t, I just won’t open up my mouth and people will assume I do know that.
•I don’t have the energy to keep growing.
•or a thousand other things we tell ourselves to remain complacent and slowly deteriorate. Use it or lose it-brain, heart, muscles…you name it.

So what makes you want to GET better?

-Is it for a loved one?
-Is it to accomplish a task, milestone or career advancement?
-Are you still trying to win the favor of a parent, sibling or high school rival?

Do you recognize that God made you with a specific purpose and you may be fulfilling that right now in your current condition…or are you coming to that realization and you need to get better to fulfill your purpose?

We all have an idea of what better means to us. Whether it might be to; read more, consume less alcohol, eat fewer snacks and less red meat, lose 20 pounds, exercise more, volunteer more, mentor more, pay it forward, learn a new language, go on a mission trip, criticize less, share your heart more, give more hugs…those are a few on my list. I’ve been told that sharing your list increases the likelihood that they will happen because you make yourself vulnerable and welcome accountability.

I’d like to challenge each of you reading this blog to identify one thing you have been putting off that would make you act, feel and be…better. Maybe it’s a phone call, maybe it’s a doctor visit, maybe it’s cleaning out the garage and donating things to charity. Maybe it’s inviting someone to lunch, maybe it’s donating your time at an assisted living facility down the street. Maybe it’s {you fill in the blank}.

Have a blessed weekend.

Good morning, Leaders! It’s Friday!

I will apologize up front that this topic is not a Friday light-hearted muse. Today is a little deeper.

My delving into philosophy and psychology this morning stems from a reaction to the inundation of all the rhetoric, all the pain, all the broken parts of the world that I, along with each one of you, are subjected to every waking moment and when you can’t sleep yourself to refreshment, stretch it out to relaxation, drink it away through intoxication or wash it off until you look like lilies and smell like daisies…it starts to sink in, stinks up the attitude and pulls us down. The only thing I’ve found to scrub it clean is prayer. A peaceful reset from white light that cleans up the darkest stain.

Here are three basic questions you should answer as early in life as possible and until you do … with conviction … you are likely going to revisit them until you can.

Does God exist?
Who am I?
What is my purpose?

My daughter gave me the book “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor E. Frankl about a year ago. I read most of it when I first got it but it wasn’t until recently when I unpacked it from our latest move that I finished the book.
In the final pages, he provokes thoughts and emotions with phrases like (denoted with an asterisk *),

*”But I knew on that day, in that hour, my new life started. Step for step I progressed, until I became a human being.”
– (This addresses the phase of recovery after Frankl had been freed from the horrors of concentration camp. It was not an automatic reset the second he walked through the gates of the camp).

– It reminds me of the mountain climber who’s guide turns to him and says, you are not paying me to get you to the peak…you are paying me to get you back down safely. The top is only half way there or in Frankl’s case, the bottom was only half way through the experience.

*”…no one has the right to do wrong, not even if wrong has been done to them.”

-Whew! Tough to get your head around but many times harder to put into practice. Even with reminders like,
“Vengeance is mine saieth the Lord.” Romans 12:19
and
“But I say, do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also.”
Matthew 5:39

*”Man, however, is able to live and even die for the sake of his ideals and values!”

-Doesn’t this beg questions for you like, “What do you stand for?” “What do you believe in?” & “What are you willing to do to defend it?”
•fight with whatever level of force deemed necessary
•work your fingers to the bone
•sacrifice your wealth, health, happiness or family
•walk away to avoid the potential destruction of what you’ve built (think on that for a while)

*Nietzsche (quoted in book): “He who has a WHY to live for can bear almost any HOW.”
-Amen

*”Thus it can be seen that mental health is based on a certain degree of tension, the tension between what one has already achieved and what one still ought to accomplish, or the gap between what one is and what one should become.”

-Where has this quote been?!
-This explains a lot for me.
-I’ve lived with this tension, unease, nagging, busybody behavior for SO long and now, it becomes obvious that I refuse to get comfortable with the idea that “this”/’who I am today’ is all I will be.
-some refer to it as lifelong learning

*Schopenhauer (quoted in book): “Mankind is apparently doomed to vacillate eternally between the two extremes of distress and boredom.”

-In this day and age of progressive automation…Siri (Apple’s voice activated solution provider), Alexa (Amazon’s voice activated interface and connection to the Internet), Cortana (Microsoft’s voice activation) or Google Now. We are destined to an increased level of “boredom” until we reach the next level of distress. Can you see it coming?

The meaning of life may be different for each of us but I think answering the three basic questions earlier in your years here on earth may save you and those around you significant time, energy and trouble.

Have a blessed weekend!

Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!

•The phrase “Life Change” was heard last Sunday morning during Brian Suter’s sermon at Westwood Community church regarding Saul who later became known as Paul, the author of at least 7 and maybe as many as 14 books of the bible (depending on which scholar you trust) and went from persecutor to apostle and eventually persecuted for his beliefs. A substantial life change chronicled in the most influential book ever written.

•I happened to be watching a show about the NBA last week describing the Detroit Pistons and the rivalry with the Chicago Bulls. During the show on a popular sports network, they pointed out how one fairly famous guard got tired of getting beat up at the basket so he resolved to build himself up physically and mentally to what we know now as superstar status. This life change played out on the basketball court and went far beyond that. Once completed, the resultant statistics and accomplishments sparks debate about who was the greatest player of all time.

•”We’re pregnant.” I’ve never experienced so many emotions simultaneously as the day I heard those two words for the first time. Fear, surprise, anticipation, joy and trust…all came through me in a flash.
-I didn’t feel I was prepared to be a father, (and I used to enjoy the illusion of being in full control).
-This was a very busy time in our lives and it became obvious in an instant that things were about to change dramatically.
-After initial shock, the anticipation started to build. I’m going to be a daddy!
-What a gift God has entrusted Carole and I to be an integral part of.
This was the beginning of the most significant life change for me.

One common thread in each of these snippets is that anxiety and adversity led to action and amazement.

*Imagine Paul making a reversal from a self righteous man persecuting others for their beliefs to recognizing he was the chief of sinners and dedicating the balance of his life to helping so many others find everlasting life.

*Imagine Michael Jordan pulling himself up from professional ball player, a status very few achieve, to undisputed superstar.

*Imagine a pair of young college students focused on completing their education interrupted with the greatest gift possible and immediately transforming from a self-reliant couple to service-oriented parents.

We all experience life change. It’s not always positive. Most of the time we have a choice in how we react to these moments in our lives. Do we step up to the challenge or do we surrender to the status quo?

Imagine what you might miss if you let the anxiety and adversity rule your choices thus depriving yourself the opportunity to experience something amazing.

Have a blessed weekend!

Good morning, Leaders!  It’s Friday!

In the past month, two of our adult children posed the question to me in a text, “Are you voting for Trump?”

To give some background, I do not tell our children what to do (I recognize that my ability to influence dropped sharply after they turned six years old). They consult me on matters of career and finance … and now politics.

We learned Wednesday night that Senator Cruz will not be. He’ll be voting his conscience, although I don’t think you’ll find that entry on your ballot. Sore loser, or maybe just loser.

My rationale is complex but my answer is fairly simple.

Rationale:
•I usually vote for the Republican Party. Not because I wholeheartedly agree with everything in their platform by any stretch of the imagination. I don’t. However, I tend to lean more that way based on pro business, less government and less taxation. Whoopee. Call me a moderate, shame my political views, no matter.

•The process may not have yielded a candidate that gets the majority of conservative voters quickly behind him but a previously agreed upon process was followed. The angry electorate has spoken and it produced an angry candidate with the warts and hair…of ugly wrapping but we can only speculate whether the gift inside is beautiful or ugly at this point.

•Not voting at all removes my ability to have an opinion on anything political in the future four years. I can’t complain or brag if I sit on the sidelines rather than participate.

•The independent candidate is truly unconventional but not serious enough to be a contender so it would be synonymous to throwing your vote away.

•I fundamentally disagree with many of the positions of the one true opponent. What if you removed half of the negative claims currently being circulated or “wrote them down” due to potential embellishment. Would it be enough to change your mind? Not for me.

•Looking at the economies of so many other countries that have failed and reviewing key decisions that led to the current state of political and economic affairs, I don’t want us to become the next Japan, Greece, or countless other failed states across the globe who refused to take responsibility for their individual actions and ultimately led to where the global community sits today.

•Gone are the days when we can get most of what we want in a POTUS candidate. Some of our most heralded leaders were crooks, philanderers or just morally corrupt so when we take a realistic look at what the country absolutely needs versus trying to find a contortionist who makes everyone think they are perfect, we find that the bare minimum may have to be enough.

Note: I wrote and posted before the RNC Convention wraps up so if he delivers the speech of a lifetime or if he lays an ostrich egg, it really doesn’t matter.

Answer:
I am voting Republican. I plan to vote for Trump.

Have a blessed weekend!

Good morning, Leaders! It’s Friday!!

A few years back I read a book by the same title from author John C. Bogle-the brains behind Vanguard, the investment firm. In the book, he quickly highlights the grotesquely greedy behaviors of Wall Street hedge fund managers and it makes you start to wonder how you personally define success. The book was written in 2008 as we dove into the economic abyss we are still climbing out of. Perhaps if we had paid attention to the warning signs and John’s story of how he has led his own life, we could have spared so many so much pain.

The word also voices my sentiment about the current state of affairs with the social unrest, political rhetoric and global anxiety. What value does it provide? Does a heightened state of awareness have a limit?  Does an overstimulated population serve anyone?  When someone jokes about wishing for “world peace”, do we actually think we achieve that by stirring up everyone? Peace starts from within each of us. Patience, understanding, compassion and concern for others before ourselves would be a good start.

Lastly, on occasion, my lovely wife will point out a video, a book or a post on social media that strikes a chord. She brought me thought provoking items like Randy Pausch’s “Last Lecture”.  Last night she shared a Facebook post titled, “I wish you enough” based on the poem by Bob Perks and whether you’ve seen it or not, it’s worth reading again:

I wish you enough sun
to keep your attitude bright
I wish you enough rain
to appreciate the sun more
I wish you enough happiness
to keep your spirit alive
I wish you enough pain
so that the smallest joys in life
appear much bigger
I wish you enough gain
to satisfy your wanting
I wish you enough loss
to appreciate all that you possess
I wish you enough “Hello’s”
to get through the final “Goodbye.”

Have a blessed weekend!