Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!

In fourth grade, it was Rebecca Lucken, Steven Sandness and Stacy Hill. Who amongst us would finish Mrs. Stoa’s math quiz first? It was always a race to see who would finish first. Fastest and most accurate…Then Mark Mazaheri shows up and drops into the accelerated reading class as we plowed through the color learning series. These classmates were considered to be smart – er. Most, if not all, of their parents were in academia associated with the local college. They had pedigree associated with high IQ. I was privileged to be associated with this group as we chased top of the class status on our way toward what we believed to be success by outperforming our gifted classmates.

From Emotional Intelligence 2.0, Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves write, “When emotional intelligence was first discovered, it served as the missing link in a peculiar finding: people with the highest levels of intelligence (IQ) outperform those with average IQs just 20 percent of the time, while people with average IQs outperform those with high IQs 70 percent of the time. This anomaly threw a massive wrench into what many people had always assumed was the source of success-IQ. Scientists realized there must be another variable that explained success above and beyond one’s IQ, and years of research and countless studies pointed to emotional intelligence (EQ) as the critical factor.”

Greaves and Bradberry compile findings and research together to tell the comprehensive story of emotional intelligence today:
•The whole person is made up of IQ, EQ and personality but EQ is the only quantity that is flexible and able to change.
•To change or improve, one needs to understand the four basics; Self Awareness, Self Management, Social Awareness and Relationship Management.
•There is even an online test you can take to determine where you are today.

The book is filled with strategies in these four categories to improve your EQ.
-You can change
-You can increase your intelligence!
-Hey Ma! I’m (still) getting smarter.

Have a blessed weekend!

Good morning, Carole! It’s Friday!

People/Leaders/Team…My bride of 3+ decades just celebrated another birthday. She told me a few years ago, “Honey (she calls me that on a good day), I just want to be healthy and happy.” I surmised that is a fair request for anyone.

I added the two other words in there because she fits them and deserves the first two.

Let me back up a minute. The hard-nosed author of this leadership blog gives off a cold vibe. With nicknames like Russian (I’m Swede, Swiss and German), Cop (Nope, never been one), Hard-Ass (Hmmm), and several I won’t mention, I will say that I’ve been misjudged by my … cover. I’ve taken empathy training, counseling, coaching and read a fair amount on how to get more in touch with my emotions (and my inner marshmallow) but at the end of the day, I believe my spouse knows my heart. She knows I wish nothing but good for her. As you might suspect, I do not dote…but I do spoil. I may not whisper sweet nothings …but I declare my feelings. This dedication is one of those ways.

At a milestone not too may years ago in Fountain Hills, AZ with a view to the East that was breathtaking – I provided the following testament to her in front of a small group of family members. It’s personal and it’s from the heart. I share it with trepidation and without edit because to chop it up would alter the intent.
———————————–

Healthy, Happy, Patient and Kind

Good evening, family (& friends)
Thank you for being here for this milestone.

This… is a celebration of life!
We have a beautiful backdrop that God prepared for us and we have a chance to share this beauty with people we love and adore.

Today, Carole celebrates a milestone. Half a century on earth! When she was 8, and found to have an extra vertebrae during screening for scoliosis, there may have been questions whether she would live a full life or if it would be confined to a wheelchair or hospital bed…
Carole’s optimism and fighter mentality shone through all of the concern. No doubt her mother and father prayed for her to be able to live a happy and healthy, purposeful life.
Well, Mom and Dad, here we are!
Healthy and happy, Mother &
Grandmother-no higher purpose.

Less than two weeks ago, coming off of a tough Board meeting, Carole endured a lengthy day of Eric on the phone with Board members and Chief Officers wrestling with challenging topics and looking forward-all company related stuff.

The next day she said to me as we were walking out the door so we could show the house again, “you sure are lucky you have a patient wife”…I hesitated for a second or two, thinking to myself “What did I forget this time?!” And I responded, “I AM lucky you are patient” but then ventured into the unknown and asked, “but what makes you say that?”
She began to recount how my focus on work made her feel and I apologized that I made her feel that she wasn’t the most important person on the planet.

Carole indeed has been patient.

Kind hearted, kind minded, volunteer, friend, considerate daughter, sibling, Mother, Grandmother and wife.

When you are in Carole’s presence, you can feel her heart reach out.
*Will you stay for a while?
*Time for a meal?
*Do you need some food or money or do you want to see the shirt I bought for you? 🙂 it was on clearance for 95% off!

I am exceedingly proud of this woman we affectionately call Caber. This healthy, happy, patient and kind woman who God has given me the honor to spend the last 29 + years with. She has a distinctive laugh, a way of making up words, a way of laughing so hard she loses bladder control.
She also has a way of making us all smile.
I love you, Carole.
Happy Birthday!
———————————–

So when you ask yourself why this might be on a leadership blog, I would say…leaders:
•Are approachable
•Are vulnerable
•Have a genuine concern for the well being of the people they interact with, starting with those closest to them
•Model the way

If a hard ass can turn inside out to express care, concern and compassion for a life partner, anything is possible.

Leadership is a calling but it also requires that you take care of yourself and maintain a support system (a world class rope team-and you just met my anchor) for the days you spend your very last ounce of energy at the office and someone at home needs to:
Resuscitate you
Remind you why started down this journey and
Reassure you that no matter what happens on the battlefield, you’ll have a Reason to come home.

Have a blessed weekend!

Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!

I was in the state of Texas this week.
While in Austin, I stayed at the historic and beautiful Driskill hotel where the conference was held.  We had the opportunity to hear one of the co-authors of the Blue Ocean Strategy, Gabor George Burt,

https://g.co/kgs/BFlhs3

talk about things like innovation and infatuation.

Often at this conference, leaders are encouraged to think differently. We all get caught in ruts and so a nudge to move forward involves discomfort, skepticism and is usually followed by appreciation.

As the keynote speaker, he posed some thought provoking questions. He also predicted most would only get 2 out of 5 correct. Take the quiz before reading any further and see how you do.

Number 1:
If you were an animal, which one would you be? (Narrow choices to eagle, lion or opossum)

Number 2:
What business are you in? (Be succinct)

Number 3:
Who are your most important competitors?

Number 4:
What is the starting and stopping point of a typical customer’s experience cycle with your offering?

Number 5:
On a scale of 1 to 10, how closely linked is customer satisfaction to your strategic success?

Potential answers
Each requires more explanation than I have space for but I’ll put the discussed response and you can dig up more from Gabor if you are provoked.

1. Opossum-adaptability. Only animal that plays dead as a defense mechanism…

2. Multiply joy, divide pain

3. Perhaps the ones you can collaborate with.

4. There shouldn’t be such a thing.

5. “2” Satisfaction is not good enough any more. It should be infatuation.

What do people want?

“People don’t know what they want until you show it to them.”

Steve Jobs

“The human equation is to multiply joy and divide pain.
Pain shared is pain divided.
Joy shared is joy multiplied.”

Lt. Col. Dave Grossman, army psychologist, author

“Think about your work situation. Do you treat your creativity like a fossil fuel—a limited resource that must be conserved—or have you harnessed the unending power of the sun? Are you in an environment where creativity thrives? Is there room for new ideas every day? Can you make room?”

Biz Stone, Author of “Things a little bird told me”

It has taken me decades to identify what I want.  Perhaps some of these notions will speed up your timeline.

Have a blessed weekend!

Good morning, Leaders! It’s Friday!

I just read a very interesting article on regret. Sort of a coulda, shoulda, woulda…why don’tcha? theme.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/study-reveals-5-biggest-regrets-people-have-before-die-iwuoha

It reminds me of the test where they tell you to read all of the instructions before starting to work on the test … and on the very last page it instructs you to lay the test down. The test is about following instructions and comprehension, not initiative without discipline.

•Begin with the end in mind.

I started working early in life and not by choice. However, I learned from that lengthy experience that hard work pays; it fulfills, it brings purpose and it reinforces good choices. But to what end?

*Plow horse to show pony*

Since my father was a general contractor, I was given every odd job imaginable. Whoever thought coveralls came in toddler sizes? Since none of it killed me, I worked my way up…

From cutting weeds with hand tools to using a 3-wheeled push lawnmower and on to driving a Bush Hog behind a Ferguson tractor.

From cutting trees with a hand saw to operating a (lame) electric chainsaw to a 36″ bar Stihl 075 gas powered saw that barked and chewed through wood like a hot knife through (warm) butter.

From breaking up concrete driveways swinging a maul like John Henry to running a Chrysler industrial powered hydra-hammer to operating a 36″ jaw, primary crusher.

From driving a gas-powered, rear wheel steer loader to operating an original series diesel, articulated log-skidder Steiger to navigating streets with a massive Massey-Ferguson front end loader with a 6 cubic yard snow bucket (most cars today would fit inside it).

From a 1/2 ton GMC pickup with a three in the tree to a 160 series International stakebed to a turbo charged Kenworth 22 wheeler pulling a 20 yard aluminum gravel trailer.

Let’s just say I was conditioned early on to dive in and take on more and more and more.

When I got out of engineering school, it wasn’t much of a guess that I’d look for a bigger role with more “horsepower”.

I’ve been blessed to achieve multiple levels of responsibility and developed an appetite for learning and asking “what’s next?”.

As I matured, recognizing I could add value with hard work, good choices and a tolerant family, I’d ask “for what price?”.

Now my confidence is high, my appetite is still healthy but my new question is “at what cost?”.

No matter what path you take to leadership.
No matter what experiences whet your appetite and hone your skills.
No matter the size of the fire that burns inside you and drives you to do more…

I would suggest,
-Take a look around you.
-Understand what you want and compare it to what you think you need. -Comprehend what you might be sacrificing to chase your dreams.

Under most circumstances, if you’re not a total asshole, there will be regret, there will be sacrifice, and there will be anguish on your ascension to leadership. Choose wisely.

Have a blessed weekend!

Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!

My latest travel took me to the Middle East last week. I felt privileged to sit amongst a dozen experienced leaders trying to figure out how we work better together to overcome challenges, shifting government policy, increasing client expectations and a need to provide a sustainable future for clients, citizens and the next generation of problem solvers.

One of the items in the meeting included an insiders view of the Ain Dubai, the largest ferris wheel under construction in the world.

http://whatson.ae/dubai/2016/07/dubai-eye-renamed-ain-eye/

We were also diverted daily by a show of military force immediately outside the conference room windows. Sitting on the 25th floor of the International building gave a birds eye view of helicopters, fighter jets, tanks, boats and cargo planes. Even our leader had to take notice and get a photo or two amidst the various presentations.

We took a break during the first day of meetings to discuss what we wanted the team to grow into. Breaking up into smaller groups to hash out non-technical topics gave a chance to consider the behaviors we currently exhibit and the interactions we aspire to be associated with. Many don’t know each other well enough to trust implicitly, at least not yet. Technology may link us but building a trusting relationship requires a chance to study mannerisms, tendencies and awkward pauses to know if someone is thinking or if you’ve just pissed them off.

Each time we meet, eat together, greet our colleagues in certain global locations, discuss unique capabilities, analyze project opportunities or recent accomplishments, we move our organization forward. Measuring progress doesn’t start with Dollars or Pounds or Dirham or Krona, it’s measured with engagement of hearts and minds, jokes and laughter, stories of sacrifice, victories and even defeat.

Not to dismiss the obvious that each time we travel to a new location where our various leaders are based, we experience a new environment, new flavors, new languages, accents and styles.  These deep rooted ways of life influence our leaders daily and we must pay attention to all of it if we are to better understand each other.

While we are used to designing infrastructure for the worlds power markets, our current leadership challenge is building a global culture where we are nimble, responsive and cohesive.  We will develop a winning strategy…together…and enjoy the journey, no matter what corner of the world we happen to be in.

Have a blessed weekend!

Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!

Sorry for the unsavory (asshole) word, it’s not for shock value and it’s not meant to be disrespectful. The term is often used but until recently, I never thought about what it meant, only that I didn’t really want to be considered one.

In Aaron James work entitled “Ass-holes, a theory”, the author does an extraordinary job describing the label: a person counts as an asshole when, and only when, he systematically allows himself to enjoy special advantages in interpersonal relations out of an entrenched sense of entitlement that immunizes him against the complaints of people.
Thus, a happy asshole might be one who is content with this substantial character flaw and enjoys his sense of entitlement.

On the other hand, what makes up a miserable hero? My first thoughts go to the war veteran who returns home with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). While fighting for the freedoms we enjoy, he may have lost a limb, maybe saw things he’ll never be able to forget and live with the nightmares his entire life. Perhaps she took a bullet through the back in a firefight that carries with it the kind of pain that only addictive prescriptions can remedy. Maybe lost a close friend who cannot be replaced.

These two descriptions of people seem to represent oxymorons that we don’t believe can exist. The easier descriptions to accept under most stereotypes would be miserable asshole and happy hero, wouldn’t they be?

Let’s look beyond a simple, narrow designation for a moment. Whether man or woman, happy or miserable, asshole or hero…no one can be wholly described by a singular label. Some of us are more self aware than others-stress, circumstances, heritage, disposition, habits, health and a host of other things contribute to how we show up. No one, no matter how informed, familiar or close can anticipate your behavior every minute. Only you can control it…and control it you must.

How are you regarded today? Ask someone you trust to give you a straight and candid answer.

How do you want to be regarded? Spend some time thinking about it and working on the impressions you leave. Behavioral change might be the toughest thing you’ve ever worked on…and the most rewarding.

Have a blessed weekend!

Good morning Team! It’s Friday!

We’re all searching for something, aren’t we?
•Love
•Purpose
•Satisfaction
•The next adrenaline rush
•A big pile of money
•The adoration of people who’s opinion we are concerned with

Maybe it’s more simple than that…

•A daily hug
•A kind word
•A friendly smile
•A walk down memory lane when things were different, less complicated (or we were more distracted by the immediate needs of the day)

In my [more] extensive [than I had ever planned on] travels in the past couple of years, I’ve become a graduate student of people. The behaviors are similar under most circumstances. They, meaning me and most others I sense, react negatively to the harsh weather conditions, they all smile and wave at too-young-to-speak toddlers who wave at them, they grimace at the long bathroom lines when there’s no time to spare or the inconveniences thrust upon them … because this world is harsh.

I was talking with a friend in faith the other day who suggested I ask God to show me what I am to him. My prayer, “God, who am I to you? What did you design me to do in my time here on earth? What is your will for me?”

*Now, I’m guessing he did not design me to be a really good employee just so I’m making my employer gobs of money.
He may have designed me to be a leader who shares a vision that compels people to do their best, lift their chin, and add value to clients and coworkers though.

*I’m pretty sure he didn’t design me to hoard and gorge and surround myself with every material comfort so I can pacify my earthly existence and create distractions. However, I think he designed me to create purpose, opportunity for myself and others. To share his riches, to give…willingly, of time and talents and financial means. To trust his will.

*He likely did not design me to whine about my circumstances. But he did design me to be grateful in all things, even the miserable times when I want to drop everything and start over.

I just finished the book by Dr Henry Cloud called “Necessary Endings”. Note: He also wrote “Integrity” and I’ve recommended that book to many leaders and future leaders. Good stuff.

Dr Cloud challenges the reader to assess what trimester of depleted situation you might be in and what you’re planning to do about it. Rather than being miserable or being lulled into a sense of numbness, framing your situation with a stage of finality might be the best way to look at it. One thing I’m learning is that it may not be a black and white ending but maybe a time to change course.

For instance:
If you are in a relationship that has become void of joy, mutual benefit or happiness…you can walk away or you can reinvest. Either way, you’re putting an end to a depleted downward spiral and seeking to reinvigorate your commitment. This might be with an employer, a friend or a spouse. Don’t be fooled by the title or take the easy route. Say “No more” to unsustainable conditions and say “Yes” to a new start. It is your choice if that includes a change of address, email or simply … attitude.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, in this world has value if you didn’t earn it. For instance, how many lottery winners consider themselves lucky even a few years after they “win”? Most die broke and miserable.

Pulling it all together: We all make choices everyday that affect our future. Where do you put your time, your resources, your heart?

As we seek happiness, we figure out way too late in life that you must give it away to get it back with dividends.
Transfer that emotion you feel when an unconditional, almost unconscious reaction from a toddler smiling and waving makes you feel. Don’t hoard it, don’t let your adulthood get in the way. Pass it on. Let your heart breathe.

God gave you this day.
God gave you everything you have.
God tested your resolve with the trials and tribulations that may have forced some Necessary Endings. It was a gift. You’re not being punished, you’re being awakened. You’re being beckoned to pay closer attention to the blessings slapping you in the face on a daily, if not hourly basis.
Wake up.
Be grateful.
Give away your joy and prepare to receive it ten fold.

Have a blessed weekend!

Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!

Caution, this story is linked to sharpening the saw more than it is about a direct leadership application.

On our annual trek to Yellowstone, the boys and I encountered adversity and tested our resilience. How bad do we want to have fun? What does it take to relax? It can’t be that hard, can it?

History: We used to own our snowmobiles and there was a time when we’d prepare them for mountain riding, haul them 850 miles and ride for a few days. Riddled with issues and the economics, we sold our sleds but love to ride so now we burn sky miles on a few flights, cash in rental car rewards, this year even used time share points for a more comfortable stay.

We’ve used a local shop to rent from for at least five years and came to enjoy the familiarity of people, predictability of the equipment and overall experience…that all changed this year. We walked in the first day and were told by the customer service rep we “weren’t expected until tomorrow”. Huh. They couldn’t accommodate our entire equipment request but made an effort. We were forced to find a third sled at a different establishment. Uncomfortable, time consuming, but at least we can ride.

New model snowmobiles are pretty equal between brands in most regards. When we owned them, I adopted the notion that nothing should remain stock. We put on high performance stuff that took time, broke the bank and stretched my smile from ear to ear.

Due to the scheduling mishap, we were introduced to a new vendor who happened to be renting an after market, turbo-charged model cranking out 200 horsepower! For those of you who don’t ride, that’s more than most compact cars produce today. It screamed like our old, not-so-stock sleds and climbed places I never dared approach before.

Pause: If I have learned anything in the last few years, it is that all social events, family trips, golf outings, huntings trips, etc. are about the experiences you have with the people you are with and the ones you share it with, not simply the joy that is derived from said event.

In this day and age, capturing those events is easier than ever. Strap on your Go-Pro or whip out your cell phone and you can relive the moments and share extensively.

Epitome: High stress requires a number of stress busting activities to keep mind, body and soul in tact. For my personality type, I work hard so I play hard. I enjoy snowmobiling because using the throttle aggressively gets you out of more trouble than it causes-usually- and in the mountains it tests your confidence in yourself, your riding abilities and the equipment you ride. Pulling this all together, my personality on a 200 HP mountain sled looks like this.

 

Unless it is perfectly sunny, contours covered in snow are hard to distinguish and “if you ain’t getting stuck, you ain’t trying hard enough”. I launched this sled to a point where it landed ok but I had to climb back on to see if I could ride it out. The snow was deep and if I couldn’t move forward, we would have to dig it out and turn it around and pull it through the small rivine I just traversed. Not fun. Instead, with a handful of confidence and a little extra wiggle, we got out with minimal back strain.
You can tell by the audio, my youngest was elated we didn’t have to pull it backwards and he probably didn’t think I’d get out on my own.

My takeaways:
I could have easily spoiled our time away together by pissing and moaning about the scheduling miscommunication with the trusted vendor. (As luck would have it, they even gave us 750 more reasons to be frustrated with their rental policies).

Instead, we talked it through, made better choices and learned of a new alternative to enjoy a not-so-stock riding experience.

We came to create and capture life experiences. To let our guard down, laugh a little and marvel at God’s handy work.

We leave satisfied.

Have a blessed weekend!

 

Good morning, Leaders! It’s Friday!

Somewhere between subtle and hyper-sensitive, lies a world within a world that I seldom pay attention to.

I’m caught up in my own…stuff. One big lump of distractions.
Not enough sleep, too much stress, something broke again at home when I was traveling, the car doesn’t sound right (but the dealer says it “A, OK!”). Clients are upset, coworkers are anxious, executives are impatient and soon I forget:
I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, money in my pocket, friends I can talk to, children I am proud of, family to lean on, a hobby or two to keep me from going insane. A God who loves me. I’ll be ok.

We focus on ourselves so much of the time. Studies say it’s over 80% of the time. (Dale Carnegie claims the number is at 95%.)

Life is funny. Ironic funny, not ha ha funny. It’s a series of loops.

•One loop that runs in your head, 80% of the internal audio soundtrack is complete by the time you’re 8 years old! Imagine how entrenched those beliefs are by the time you are considered an adult. How hard is it to record a new chapter?

•Another loop is the personal journey we are all on. Life teaches us lessons but if we don’t learn them along the way, life has a tendency to reintroduce us again and again until you get it. “Those who do not learn (from) history are doomed to repeat it.” George Santayana

•From a physical standpoint, we enter this world bare-assed naked, screaming and hungry looking for a warm, comfortable and safe place to take a long nap. When we take our last breath, we go with the same amount of fabric on our backs, the same amount of food in our belly and looking for a place to take a long nap.

I met a man this week for the first/third time. The previous introductions didn’t allow me to gather any personal details or tangible facts. This meeting was different. He explained his extensive responsibilities and quantitative industry experience. He explained how one of his significant efforts is bringing clean water to 80,000 people in West Africa. He’s cynical, jaded, and avoids the spot light. But he would classify himself as a Giver.* It’s a matter of perspective and opinion.

* I had a coworker who sold us his company a dozen years ago or so. He said, “Eric, there are two kinds of people; Givers and Takers.”

Pastor Jerry Carlson used to say at the end of each of his sermons, “As you go out into the world this week, remember that everyone is fighting a battle of some kind, so be gentle.”

Take away? Let me hit you over the head with it today.

You will be better off if you can change your internal recording by paying honest attention to others. Focus on what you can do to add value, not hoard it.

Life is short.

Despite every instinct and worldly force telling you differently, it ain’t about you.

Be a giver.

Be gentle.

Please, have a blessed weekend!

Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!

Carole and I were livestream-ing the early service from Westwood Community church last Sunday, where pastor Joel Johnson was delivering his sermon.
In the course of his message, he used the term I pay forward this week…bond of affection.
I don’t know about your capacity to process large volumes of data at one time but usually, if I hear a word, a term, something that resonates … thought provoking, it sticks in the crevasses of my brain and causes me to stop, reflect, mull over and file away.
We know there are multiple words to describe love. A couple that come to mind are:

•Agape-the highest form of love, unconditional affection
•Philia- non-sexual affection
•Eros- sexual affection

At my core, I’m a pretty simple guy who never thought much about what love is but as we investigate the different types, it’s obvious to me now that one bond of affection is widely different than another.

That could sound like, “I love you…but I’m not in love with you.” One translation might be, I appreciate who you are and you’ll always have a place in my heart but I don’t want to have babies with you. Perhaps philia?

Eros-no need (or preference) to explain for the adult audience reading this blog.

A passage that most Christians learn early is, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” John 3:16

That’s agape at its highest level. Unconditional love eclipsed by the ULTIMATE sacrifice. His only son. A pain(we can’t even comprehend)ful death compounded by humiliation…and of course followed by the resurrection.  God’s bond of affection for every one of us, all of his children – we are each the apple of his eye.

If this is new or simply a review of a concept you once were more aware of, what will you do with it rattling around the frontal lobe of your cerebral cortex?

Will you walk around pointing at things and say…agape, Awesome! Eros (get a room), Philia-what’s up brother? Like a kid prancing around in a circle messing each kids hair up…black duck, white duck, GRAY DUCK!

Maybe the goal here is less about defining and more about merely recognizing that so much love actually exists. If we allow ourselves to be conditioned by media of every type, we may not stay open to the many types of love.

Bond of affection describes how someone feels inside whether they have experienced touch, felt goosebumps, swelled with pride, marveled from a distance or passionately kissed their soul mate.

If you do nothing more after reading this weeks contribution to a better you than to hug the person closest to you and
reinforce a bond of affection, do it.

For extra credit, go create more.

Have a blessed weekend!