Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!
I’m taking a break to sharpen the saw.
I recommend you do the same.
Have a blessed weekend!
Reengaged
Good morning Team! It’s Friday!
I’m sitting next to a distinguished gentleman on my regular flight from where I work back to where I live. He dresses, acts and behaves like someone who was once retired and now reengaged.
After looking for an executive administrative coordinator/business partner for … an extended period of time, I reached out to a former colleague to gauge interest in filling the role remotely. She respectfully declined indicating she is happily retired. She reached a point where it wasn’t appealing to reengage.
Today, I modified an offer to a talented technician who no longer felt their efforts were appreciated and sought affirmation and recognition elsewhere. I don’t normally make a practice of re-recruiting someone who has secured an offer somewhere else. This was an exception in an attempt to get someone to reengage.
I feel I have a tremendous amount of experience in this area of reengagement over my career but specifically over the past three years and four distinct roles. I can empathize with each scenario and a few more of my own.
It’s possible to be:
•Engaged and employed
•Engaged and unemployed
•Disengaged and employed
•Disengaged and unemployed
The common point in the examples here is that all people were disengaged for one reason or the other. The art of reengaging is far from simple or easy and may require much more than a reintroduction. It requires a level of trust, a reassurance that the environment will be more forgiving than the last reason to disengage and there has to be higher perceived value than simply staying disengaged.
In a new book from a former colleague, Jim Nevada. He wrote “Igniting Purpose-Driven Leadership” detailing principles of successful leaders
-the need to focus on your purpose
-the need to unleash the creative energy of your people
That’s a detailed and specific way of engaging “your people”
Have a blessed weekend!
The hard way
Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!
On Tuesday night after a long weekend with family, I scheduled the latest flight out to spend a little more time at home (and a little less time away). Enter thunderstorms to delay the flight well past the Sky Club hours, leaving me to generate my blog early and question why I’m compelled to follow through with a well intended plan turned sour.
If I were Goldilocks, I’d burn my mouth on the whole bowl of hot porridge, sit uncomfortably in the chair too big for me and sleep on the hardest bed with a rock for a pillow.
Why?
As one coworker recently put it, that’s very German of you.
-Stubborn?
-Stoic?
-Stupid?
Come to think about it, I’m the one sitting around the table in “those” meetings asking Why not?
-Searching for a better answer and willing to sacrifice (too?) much in order to solve a wicked hard problem?
-Over compensating for fear of ending up destitute?
-Was it ingrained in me as a kid that easy life leaves you soft, vulnerable (in a bad way), hard work is good for you and harder work is exceptional?
-Has it gone on so long that my trigger response is to pick challenge over charm? Tough love over compassion even when everyone else can clearly see that compassion is the only answer?
I don’t know any more.
I have nothing left to prove.
•Climbed the proverbial career mountain
•Kids are all adults; responsible, educated, paying tax, adding societal value, starting their own families, getting married, pursuing their own dream, no longer in need of the self-appointed disciplinarian
•Dad passed away so the Freud argument weakens
My partner of 33+ years has endured my pursuit of rigor and extraordinary accomplishment with minimal peace.
I grew to believe…
Comfort breeds complacency. Complacency breeds entitlement.
Entitlement breeds discord.
Discord breeds dissension.
Dissension breeds fracture.
Fracture breeds failure.
Shorten the equation and comfort is the beginning of failure. Can I afford to get comfortable this far away from retirement?
Conversely, if I continue this hard ass behavior, who will want to spend time with me when me and Uncle Sam jointly declare I served my purpose and now it’s time for a 25 year break?
That all sounds suspiciously “easy”…
I’ll increase my efforts in search for middle ground and a “just right” epilogue.
Have a blessed weekend!
Content
Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!…and the start of a long weekend.
If you took the time to read this, you’re doing it wrong. It’ll still be here Tuesday.
What do you think contentment looks and feels like?
*An umbrella drink on a cruise ship in the Western Caribbean?
*A big bank account?
*A “staycation” during a long weekend like the one in front of you (or just behind you if you did it right as suggested above)?
*Happy Family?
*Full belly?
*Snuggled in with your sweetheart next to a warm fire on a cold, blustery night?
*Somehow knowing you’re in the right place at the right time applying the right amount of energy and getting the expected results?
I ran into a former coworker at a recent industry event who asked me if I was content in my new job. I wasn’t sure what to say. I didn’t take the role to nestle in. I wasn’t looking for content, I was looking for the opportunity to make a difference. Content sounded too much like comfortable…and I don’t know how to do that. Some personalities seek comfort and contentment. At that moment I realized I seek challenge with intense curiosity so I said I think part of what drives me is that I am, by nature, discontented. His response, “Words to live by!”
Maybe not or it depends where you apply it. Life is seldom simple enough to use the same technique in each element of your life. Different settings call for different behavior.
Now, as I near the end of my working toward the ever elusive completely-rewarding-through-excessive-sacrifice career, I start to recognize the vast difference between content at work and content in life.
Is this some contorted version of a midlife crisis or am I finally waking up?
To be discontented and drive for change, push for “more” in a Steve Jobs or J Paul Getty fanatic kind of way may be how I’m built but what do I look like at home? A recent picture of family on a tour of Prince’s Paisley Park made me think of a number of things-
•I’m blessed to have such a loving and beautiful family
•Prince died too early as he strove for excellence in everything and has to leave behind fortune and fame
•I look like a guy who’s still wearing his uptight, discontented work face, even when I’m not at work
I can be content being discontented at work but I really need to appreciate how fortunate I am to be with loved ones and start being content in my skin and show it, not just say it.
Have a blessed and long weekend!
Crucible
Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!
According to Dictionary.com, the literal definition for crucible is:
“a situation of severe trial, or in which different elements interact, leading to the creation of something new.”
In the macro sense, this describes your life on earth.
In the micro sense, this is each day of your life on earth…
-a visit to the dentist
-a final exam
-your commute home
When you think about your personal crucible, do you focus on the “severe trial” or do you focus on the “creation of something new”?
Is it unusual that we don’t appreciate things unless we work for or suffer through severe trial first?
How hard is it to pick out a spoiled child in the shopping mall compared to one who genuinely values a gift, new clothes or even a candy bar? While we may not enjoy the process, without it we don’t gain the appreciation and are not active participants in the “something new”.
Suffering through a severe trial sucks and often can leave a permanent mark. Funny thing is that you might never move past it and gain the value of the the new if you get caught up whining about how tough you’ve got it.
•No crucible=spoiled
•Partially completed crucible= extended trial with no happy ending
•All crucible=agony
Life is designed to have rough patches. Take your lumps. Suck it up. Get through it. Identify, harvest and cherish the knowledge nugget gained and get on to your next step.
Wallowing is bad.
Floating above deprives life’s real lessons.
Disrespecting the process could result in a perpetual cycle of severe trial.
Have a blessed weekend!
Shine
Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!
“This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine…”
Do you remember singing that song as a youngster?
Didn’t we learn early in life we need to be radiant?
What happened along the way between that wonderful message and where each of us sit today?
-disappointment
-discouragement
-fear
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson
Be gorgeous-I don’t care if it’s a new hairstyle, new wardrobe, maybe just a crisp, white, fitted shirt, new sunglasses, Invisalign, teeth whitener, a new exercise routine or simply brushing your tongue with the special brush…we can all take steps each day to be gorgeous.
Be brilliant-you don’t need to have a degree from Harvard or MIT to be considered brilliant. Learn a new language through Rosetta Stone, read new books, subscribe to podcasts. Hang around with smart people and …. listen.
Be talented-you don’t need permission for this but how many people shrink when they encounter perceived resistance.
-I don’t want to show up my boss.
-I chose not to express my opinion or provide my background and experience.
-I’ll wait for a different time to speak up.
Do not pass up the opportunity to be talented.
Be fabulous-This May be considered expressing self/esteem. I worked with an HR professional who used to respond each time when asked, “How are you?” With an emphatic, “Fabulous!” It’s an attitude. Try it for a month. When someone asks, “How are you, Eric?” I will respond, “I am Fabulous! I hope you are too.”
“…don’t hide it under a bush, or no. I’m gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine!”
Let your little light shine, people!
Have a blessed weekend!
Practice
Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!
I took piano lessons for more than a decade while growing up. Mom was trying to develop we four children with more than just a solid work ethic. Friday after school we’d drive down to Ms. Ruth Fossum’s home to play what we practiced. We had a paper sheet where I was to record time spent turning notes to music each day but it became an exercise in rounding up…and it showed every Friday afternoon.
The sweet, skeptical review of the practice sheet and the non-verbal noises of “hmmmm and ahhhhh”, combined with “OK, let’s get started, shall we?” were all indicators of what I was about to lay down in Ms. Fossum’s studio.
It is no different today. I haven’t played the piano for over 30 years but I gained an extreme appreciation for music.
•”Mastering music is more than learning technical skills. Practicing is about quality, not quantity. Some days I practice for hours; other days it will be just a few minutes.” Yo-Yo Ma
•Dale Carnegie said “Practice makes permanent”
•Walter Bond, former NBA basketball player and inspirational speaker says, as we look at our professions and compare them to professional athletes, we are all expected to get bigger, stronger, faster each season. That only happens with practice.
Practice only happens after we recognize we need to get better. We usually only recognize we need to get better after we get beat; lose a project or client, have a bad financial performance year (or two) or maybe getting fired.
What does practice look like for a leader?
•How about getting quality feedback through a coach?
•How about rehearsing a speech in front of a mirror?
•Have you recorded (audio or video) yourself then watched it?
•I’ve heard karaoke is a good test for public speaking confidence. Hint: Maybe buy a home version first and practice until you can carry a tune. It’s hard to learn a lesson while you’re getting laughed off stage.
Have a blessed weekend!
Gifts
Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!
God wastes nothing. God makes no mistakes. Just because we don’t understand everything that is happening to us, doesn’t mean it wasn’t meant to be. We might not know the reason at that time. Our struggles, and EVERYBODY has them, serve to help us better understand the world, our purpose here and how we should approach each day we have here; with a thankful heart, humility and hospitality. My mother shared a bible verse with me this week that stuck.
I Peter 4:8-10 “Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administrating God’s grace in it’s various forms.”
What does grace and gifts look like? Here a couple of examples I encountered this week.
•Dwayne Johnson, most popular and currently highest paid Hollywood actor, was recently asked to prom in Stillwater, MN, where my nephew, a high school senior, currently attends. The Rock (a label from his wrestling days), busy shooting a film in Hawaii, couldn’t go but he did extend gifts of time and entertainment…and excitement and joy. Can you imagine just how easy it would have been for him to say, I’m too busy. His gifts; time, attention, a famous voice, some promotion money, put to use to brighten a day and make a lasting impression.
http://amp.fox9.com/news/the-rock-surprises-stillwater-student-who-asked-him-to-prom
What if you’re not a famous and benevolent actor? I was switching through channels the other night and caught a quick interview with Nick Vujicic talking about his life without limbs. He’s an inspirational speaker who doesn’t spend time thinking about what he doesn’t have, he spends his life inspiring others to recognize how many gifts they’ve been blessed with. Watch this.
Normally, I try to provide three examples to make a point. That way it’s not considered an anomaly or a coincidence. But today, I want you to provide the third example. You finish the story. Ask and answer the question,
What is your gift and how are you extending it?
We are blessed with many gifts and we should all have a thankful heart. Please take a moment today to reflect on yours and decide how you will use your gift(s) to serve others.
Have a blessed weekend!
Curiosity delay
Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!
I’m back in Denver this week for the IEEE T&D conference learning more about the industry I cut my professional teeth on. I ran into a large number of former colleagues from a few different companies and a slug of industry vendors.
I was watching local news this morning, (which I never do when I travel… or when I’m at home for that matter) but I heard a new term from the traffic reporter called the “curiosity delay”. There was an accident on I-70 and the extra 20 minutes estimated on the road was called a curiosity delay. I’ve been subject to this phenomena before but never called it that.
In a strange twist of fate, I ran into someone I’d never met before at the opening reception who set up a reunion with my first (and second) industry bosses (from 30 years ago). It was a nice setting at the Opera House with bourbon tasting, good conversation and a new age string quartet.
The moment my old boss came around the corner, he took a minute with his own curiosity delay and then cracked a big smile, bent his knees a little bit and mumbled, “oh shit!”
We caught up on family quickly but I knew he was there to entertain clients so we cut it short.
Reflecting afterward. I was reminded of some of his management mannerisms that I had unknowingly mimicked. Although he was and continues to be in a leadership role, his irreverence was part of his charm…and part of my modus operandi.
Leadership Lesson: Be watchful who you spend your time with. You may become a version of them.
Have a blessed weekend!
Coaching styles
Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!
Earlier this week, I had the pleasure of listening to a top-notch keynote speaker who sees life through a sports lens, inspired by his love for ice hockey. Ross Bernstein came early to our meeting, only took a break when asked, stayed around through lunch and left graciously as our next speaker was scheduled. He’s a class act, makes 120 key note speeches a year with a global reach and has written 50 books so far with more likely to come.
The first hour he talked to us about the variety of ways that winning coaches lead. Ross has researched sports figures through thousands of interviews and has drawn some valuable conclusions. See if any of these styles resonate for you.
1-Fear and intimidation-Vince Lombardi, professional football coach. Attributes: work ethic, discipline, he treated EVERYBODY like dogs
He said: “Winners never quit and quitters never win.”
2-Tough Love-Dan Gable, college wrestling coach who ran his program like a meritocracy.
Dan said “The 1st period is won by the best technician. The 2nd period is won by the kid in the best shape. The 3rd period is won by the kid with the biggest heart.”
3-Building trust-Pat Summitt, college basketball coach, demanded eye contact, wanted to be known as a great teacher.
4-Mental toughness-Bud Grant, professional football coach, leveraged the cold Minnesota winters and wouldn’t let his players wear gloves.
“You can only control what you can control.”
5-Develop talent-Tom Kelly, professional baseball coach. Drafting for the long haul, farm team to minors to majors and if you don’t perform, you’re sent back down until you get better.
6-Disrespect-Lane Kiffin, college football coach, “Great leaders don’t say stupid stuff.” Famously used the words of opposing coach as a motivator for his team to “light a fire under their ass.”
7-Create “Buy in”-Kevin Kelly, high school football coach/math teacher, figured out punting stats were poor. His team NEVER punts on fourth down. They don’t have a punter.
8-Winning with No. John Gagliardi, college football coach, He does not allow tackling in practice, has no playbook and does not require his players to participate in strength and conditioning workouts. There is no yelling, no tackling dummies and no whistles. His quarterbacks call most of the plays. Highly unconventional…and he is the winningest coach in college football history.
9-Inspire greatness-Tony Dungy, Professional football coach. His players connected with him on a spiritual level.
He treated his coaches like men and didn’t burn them out.
A few takeaways:
•Great coaches recruit to their style.
•Great coaches focus on the outcome.
•Great coaches realize it takes a Team to win championships.
Have a blessed weekend!
Tenacious Cadence 