The good, the bad and the ugly

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Good morning, Team!  It’s Friday!

 

Why is it that we only reflect on our lives in times of elation or agony?

 

Mediocrity doesn’t inspire us to think about ourselves as citizens of humanity.  Some see average as comfortable, good enough becomes acceptable and we drift along without regular and comprehensive appreciation for our condition.

Have you seen the commercials about OK is not OK?

Brakes, babysitting, major surgery?  Examples where OK is …not OK.

What about every day that you:

  • Go into the office?
  • Go to school?
  • Watch your grandchild?

Shouldn’t each day be exceptional?  It’s a conscious choice.

The awesome that creates elation and the horrible that actuates agony force our hands and we let the situation drive our feelings and emotions.  The rest of the time, we tend to let OK be OK.

The ugly part is the majority of the time when we groan our way through life without full appreciation for how well we all actually have it.

Be alive today.  Smile and greet people.  Thank God for the breaths you take.  Understand your purpose and strive to achieve it.

 

Make it a blessed weekend!

 

Silencing the noise

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Good morning, Team!  It’s Friday!
Sharpen the Saw series, #3
When someone refers to peace, what does it make you think of?
•Quiet?
•Tranquility?
•Calm?
•Chill?
•Zen?
Is there a certain time of the day where you find this peace?  Do you wake early and ground yourself in prayer or meditation?  Do you assume the downward dog position, drink green tea and nibble on yogurt?  Maybe you wait until evening and turn off all blue screens and read or talk to a friend or loved one.  Perhaps you do things throughout the day to manage your peacefulness.
I think many of us try to find daily peace by silencing the noise, if only for a brief respite, before the world bullies it’s way into our calendar.  Some of us have simply given way to the pressure and swing open the barn doors willingly and let the mayhem begin with a large mug of caffeine, an overdose of national news, a crappy commute and day after day in the pressure cooker hoping for a couple of weeks of vacation a year, just to breathe.  Simple math tells me 2 out of 52 is a small number and may likely not be enough.
Quality of life and success are relative and unique to each of us.
-Maybe peace isn’t part of your equation.
-Maybe you prefer to be busy every waking moment.
-Maybe you need no rest or time to think.
OR
-Maybe no one dare suggest it to you…and you haven’t slowed down enough to realize how badly you need it.
A troubled heart, wearied mind and crushed soul could all use restoration through peace.  Here are a few suggestions:
*The disconnect doesn’t have to be dramatic, it could start with a simple breathing exercise.
Sit in a dark, quiet spot for a couple of minutes.  Close your eyes.  Inhale through your nose for three seconds and exhale through your mouth for six seconds.  Repeat two more times.
*Get a massage at regular intervals.  You’d be surprised how stress manifests it’s way into your muscles.
*Go for a brisk walk or run.  When you focus on your physical surroundings and God’s beauty instead of the troubles swimming in your head, it brings peace.
*Maybe you pony up for a set of fancy headphones where you can slip them on and literally silence the noise.
Whatever you do and however you do it, make it a more regular part of your life.  Live longer, happier and show up better to the people around you.
Have a blessed weekend!

Cold!

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Good morning, Team!  It’s Friday!

What do you do when it’s reportedly so cold outside that schools close, the Post Office doesn’t deliver mail and the weather reporters can’t wait to parade in front of the camera outside while they warn others to stay inside?
It’s a confusing time we live in.
When I grew up in this Upper Midwest, snow and bitter cold was called … Winter … and we expected any time from November to April that it could be nasty outside and would prepare accordingly.
I saw a blurb about the Kentucky governor calling people soft (regarding how they reacted to the weather this week) and I’m not really on that bandwagon.  My larger concern is the media has spent so much time explaining how quickly your face could freeze, they forgot to say “cover it up”…so most people just stayed home.
Be prepared and be safe, but don’t be afraid.
Have a blessed weekend!

The right thing

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Good morning, Team!  It’s Friday!
We’ve all heard the phrase, “Do the right thing.” and we typically understand what that means.
•Eat your vegetables.
•Call your Mother often.
•Help the elderly to safely cross the street.
…and there’s the more serious…
•Don’t do anything illegal, immoral, or unethical.  (If questions on this one, refer to the Bible under Ten Commandments for clarity.)
What about the gray area?
For instance:
What do you do when someone “interprets” their actions as within the bounds of acceptable but most  know, through good business judgement or common sense, that it’s not.
It’s hard to spend a significant amount of time in business without encountering marginal behavior.  Anything from selective listening to blatant misuse of intellectual property to mismanaging funds or misrepresentation of current state of employment or abuse of power for personal gain.
What do you do if you encounter this?  (hint: Here is where it gets hard and why leadership is so critical).  Leaders know that you become what you tolerate.  Does that seem harsh?  Stated another way, In what environment is lying, cheating and stealing acceptable or sustainable?  If someone you know does tolerate that kind of environment…Does that sound like a place you’d like to be associated with?
It’s pretty easy to convince yourself that it’s not your place to intervene or to question someone’s actions.  We whisper little safe messages in our head like, “Wouldn’t it be embarrassing to accuse someone of doing something wrong only to find out they weren’t?”
Perhaps a well-phrased, well-meaning question would be appropriate and enough to expose bad acting and inspire reflection?  Reaction to the question by the suspect would certainly provide clarity to the inquisitor.
My contention is that most everything negative we hear and read about in the headlines today:
*Data privacy abuse
*Intellectual property theft
*Illegal immigration
*Extortion
*Collusion
is nothing more than a lack of leadership, the courageous people willing to ask the right questions at the appropriate time.
… and it is mostly preventable.
Does it really take
•Congress in numerous highly publicized and mostly ineffective hearings or
•economically disruptive tariffs
before we are willing to tackle things that are clearly wrong?
Pay attention.  Show interest early.  Take charge of the environment you are responsible for.  Provide guidance and leadership instead of assuming it’s someone else’s problem.
Have a blessed weekend!

Optimization

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Good morning, Team!  It’s Friday!
Second in the Sharpen the Saw series.
Our peer advisory board met again this week to discuss attention management.  The content was practical and worthy of implementing.  The concept of categorizing issues into easily recognizable groupings with imbedded ranges of urgency seems so obvious but rarely done well.  A very cool optimizing tool.
We also heard one of our members talk about customer stratification which was intriguing, innovative and sophisticated.  Separating core customers from opportunistic customers, service drain customers and marginal customers.  Details can’t be shared but it definitely has merit, if you’re courageous enough to implement.
The best part of Monday was the dinner I was blessed to be asked to be part of.  Great conversation with delightful friends (I never use the word delightful so you know it was good).  Food was delicious.  But topping it all off was the conversation.  Cerebral, at times, like the blogosphere and the junior high student debating Lao Tzu influence vs. Confucius.  Each had significant impact on modern society.  I didn’t read the junior high students blog but I was inspired to research the topic and can relate to wisdom from each:
Lao Tzu
•“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”
Confucius
•“Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fall.”
The emerging theme from all of my interactions this past week was optimizing:
Time
Customers
Friends
Self
This week was a reminder for me that we are awash in high value information.  When we fail to take the time to reflect, meditate, or simply enjoy a good meal with good company…we lose much more than we gain.  Until we implement what we know, it’s as if we never learned anything at all.
Have a blessed weekend!

Hair

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Good morning, Team!  It’s Friday!

This is one of many in the Sharpen the Saw series as I take a deep career breath.
I’m spending time this week traveling the Midwest with my brother.  He is a successful owner operator independent trucker but more importantly, a successful businessman who understands customer service, responsiveness, and the art of communication.  His office is on wheels but every bit as functional as any I’ve seen.
His schedule is tight, especially this month. Driving without a load is … expensive.  Lining up loads to be loaded most of the time is efficient but it also requires you go hard whenever.
While preparing for the week, we washed and repaired truck and trailer … and groomed.  You read that right.  My brother had to ask his wife to cut his hair not only because it needed it, but there was no time left for this basic hygiene most take for granted.
Hair is important.
•It draws attention.
-When properly taken care of, it signifies professional, business like and orderly
-When ignored, it communicates apathy to the world.
•Gray hair signifies experience and garners respect.
Examples:
When I took my first executive role, my coach suggested I change my clothes and my hair.
I’ve heard multiple stories of (certain people) placing so much emphasis on their haircut they would come home, look in the mirror and … cry.
My father spent time in the military so guess what type of haircuts we boys got?  Crew cuts!
Like I said, hair is important.
Every little detail matters in how we present ourselves to the public.
Have a blessed weekend!

The C word

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Good morning, Team!  It’s Friday!

Day 1: New Beginning
Do you remember when it was exciting to do something brand new?  Discovering unchartered territory?
The “new” is why I have enjoyed being part of the consulting engineering industry, the variety and opportunity to solve problems, whether technical, financial or governance oriented. The real treat for me is connecting with people and making a positive difference.
On day one of my new start, I had an 8 o’clock appointment across town so it started out similar to any other day I would have driven to work.  Then I stopped at a Starbucks location I’ve never been to before to use a gift sent by my daughter for Christmas.  It came in an email which was cool but I didn’t want to forget it, so I used it right away.
Lunch was the story.  Old friend, fellow leader of a similar organization to one I led, building a sustainable organization while fighting off an auto immune disease… detects a lump and goes to the doc only to hear the C word.  Biopsy incision turns to staph infection, best docs in the world tell him he’s got something even the strongest drugs won’t kill off at current dosages.  Imagine seven doctors representing different parts of the patient pow wowing in the infectious disease ward deciding what to do next to kill the bug and not the patient.
My friend “Joe” was the walking testament of gratitude.  He’s still intimately familiar with the Mayo Clinic and frequents every four months or so but he appreciates every breath he’s able to take.  The cancer in the throat removed, some taste gone for good, lots of lymph nodes removed, he bragged about the recent daughter’s wedding he was able to witness, participate in and bankroll.
I was happy just to get the time to see an old friend and break bread together.  We’ve reminisced over food and booze in the past at industry gatherings how the business and roles we aspired to serve in were the best and worst; hard on the person, hard on the family, rewarding when things go well and absolutely crushing when they don’t.
“As Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17
We agreed that encouraging the heart was one of the most critical roles any leader plays.  To build a sustainable culture, we must influence those inclined to serve at a higher level to sacrifice their discretionary time to add value, willingly.  Leaders invest in future leaders.  Future leaders invest in themselves and their organization and when done correctly, the organization rewards future leaders with responsibility, opportunity, ownership and more hard work.  The circle of business life.
Whether C stands for cancer, culture, colleague or comrade,  I think I spent my day of Change in a highly Constructive way.
Have a blessed weekend!

Hard

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Good morning, Team!  It’s Friday!
Most things are.
•Spend a week in nature without tools or tents or equipment, fresh water or a protein source and no matter how beautiful it might be, it’s hard.
•Spend time away from family / loved ones for work or military service (missing birthdays, anniversaries and all the attention, affection, and things that soften the heart)
You get hard.
•Have you ever tried to do something that hadn’t been done before or you didn’t have training, instruction, or mentoring? Carving a new trail is…
Uh-huh.  Hard.
•Reinventing yourself.  Having the courage and stamina to walk away from “good” because you know you’re capable of more?
-It’s easy to settle.  The human condition is to seek comfort.
-It’s also easy to recognize when conditions require attention and you need to improve your situation:
Hungry  =>  eat food
Thirsty  =>   drink
Cold      =>   find warmth
Pain     =>    Seek relief
So
Comfort  =>  enjoy,
right?
Not me.
Why? … No idea.
I don’t make the rules and it only took 54 years to figure out my discontentment is my super power.  My motivator.
I’ve been denying this trait because I thought I was a (normal) comfort seeker.
Most people, when asked, would be willing to tell you I am not “normal” in most other areas.
I recently heard words to live by, “Serve where your gift is needed most.”  It resonated.  It didn’t say, find the path of least resistance then serve where your gift is needed most.  It didn’t say, get comfortable, then look for a convenient place to serve and maybe you can put your gift to marginal use.
I have, over time and through experience, accepted that we live in a broken, messy, challenging world.  To make progress, we need to tackle the hard stuff.  To make a difference, we need to grab the bull by the horns, not run from it like a Sally, worrying about getting poked in the ass by the horn.  To build muscle, we need to stress it and tear it and push ourselves, or we grow weak.
Life is hard.
Giving in is easy.
Refusing to compromise, fighting for what you believe is right, presenting a counter point, not to be belligerent but because you cannot sit quietly as someone tries to dictate rather than collaborate or facilitate robust discussion…can be terrifying, the first time.
Realizing your limits, your potential, your GIFT
-Maybe it is candor
-Maybe it is dispute resolution
-Maybe it is creating an excellent environment
-Maybe it is leading others to find their inner leader
whatever you realize your gift is,
Don’t give up.
Don’t give in.
Do the right thing.
Do the hard thing.
Have a blessed weekend!

Mess

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Good morning, Team!  It’s Friday!
This has been a rough week for me.  I’m saying goodbyes to many of my colleagues.  My contention is that when logic and emotion battle, emotion always wins.  I resort to logic as an engineer so depending on the arena, I lose whenever emotion is heavily involved.
I’ve been blessed in so many ways in my lifetime and my awareness has been peaked recently as I step back from two primary commitments in my life.  Things are getting emotional and I’m a fish out of water.
Like everything else in this world, when one door closes…another one opens.  I’m standing in the proverbial hallway with my fictitious hearing aids “maxed”, waiting to hear that next door open.  I’ve had the chance to visit with several colleagues from my latest commitment who have shared their heart … and in turn, melted mine.
The most impactful story involved a colleague who broke bread with me this morning in another city and shared her inspiration about converting her “mess into a message” and challenged me to do the same.
I love the phrase but the meaning behind it involves a lot of healing, a lot of learning and a lot of work.
Perhaps you’ve read a phrase I learned where “we judge others by their actions but ourselves by our intentions”.  So if we start to own our actions and contemplate our mess, maybe we can convert it to a message worth sharing.
Allow me to take a baby step and report that I resent having given up my childhood for our family contracting business.  Even though it taught me responsibility and the value of hard work at a very early age and I had little choice to change it, I feel robbed of my childhood.  My mess becomes my message each time I hear of a well-intended parent, child, boss or employee who mistakenly places too much emphasis on work rather than family.
•Take care of family.
•Work will be there when you get back.
•Ignore the nay-sayers who don’t know the full story or have yet to experience this level of love and commitment.
(Easier said than done but doable when the boss encourages the heart.)
As leaders and mentors, it is a primary responsibility to prevent unnecessary heartache and pain by warning others who struggle with priorities, who value our opinion and need to hear thought provoking questions to shape decision making rationale.
More messes and messages to come.
Have a blessed weekend!

Inspiration!

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Good morning, Team!  It’s Friday!

Leaders don’t demand, insist or command compliance, they offer suggestions, inquire and inspire.

We are in the magic season between Thanksgiving and Christmas and I wanted to share a story of an incredibly strong person who chose to fight one of the strongest foes we know, cancer.  The way in which he did it is remarkable and the legacy he left will change lives for some time to come.
I did not know Matt Ellefson, a South Dakota resident who refused to take his diagnosis sitting down.  But I can guarantee you that anyone who did meet him never forgot him. His energy … contagious and his perseverance, even with cancer, incredible…but his resolve to make something lasting, to turn outward instead of turning inward, to say oh no, I’m not giving in rather than I’ll just take my lumps or complain about the bad hand he was dealt, is the unusual and inspirational part.
www.SURVIVEit.org is the site where you can learn more about this organization inspired by cancer survival but founded to help people.
Look up the site and I dare you to ignore that big lump in your throat or try to continue reading with tears streaming down your face.
Watch the video and hear directly from Matt and others how they discovered and relied on this organization to help them fight fearlessly through their cancer diagnosis.
Matt recently lost his battle after years and years of defying his terminal diagnosis but left an amazing legacy.  Consider how you will celebrate the holidays and perhaps make a donation to this cause or any other where their core mission is to help others.
We all know someone fighting a battle with cancer, physical or mental disabilities, loss, anguish, acrimony or pain that may not be obvious to everyone but if you know them, let them know you are aware and let them feel how you feel.
Have a blessed weekend!