Hard

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Good morning, Team!  It’s Friday!
Most things are.
•Spend a week in nature without tools or tents or equipment, fresh water or a protein source and no matter how beautiful it might be, it’s hard.
•Spend time away from family / loved ones for work or military service (missing birthdays, anniversaries and all the attention, affection, and things that soften the heart)
You get hard.
•Have you ever tried to do something that hadn’t been done before or you didn’t have training, instruction, or mentoring? Carving a new trail is…
Uh-huh.  Hard.
•Reinventing yourself.  Having the courage and stamina to walk away from “good” because you know you’re capable of more?
-It’s easy to settle.  The human condition is to seek comfort.
-It’s also easy to recognize when conditions require attention and you need to improve your situation:
Hungry  =>  eat food
Thirsty  =>   drink
Cold      =>   find warmth
Pain     =>    Seek relief
So
Comfort  =>  enjoy,
right?
Not me.
Why? … No idea.
I don’t make the rules and it only took 54 years to figure out my discontentment is my super power.  My motivator.
I’ve been denying this trait because I thought I was a (normal) comfort seeker.
Most people, when asked, would be willing to tell you I am not “normal” in most other areas.
I recently heard words to live by, “Serve where your gift is needed most.”  It resonated.  It didn’t say, find the path of least resistance then serve where your gift is needed most.  It didn’t say, get comfortable, then look for a convenient place to serve and maybe you can put your gift to marginal use.
I have, over time and through experience, accepted that we live in a broken, messy, challenging world.  To make progress, we need to tackle the hard stuff.  To make a difference, we need to grab the bull by the horns, not run from it like a Sally, worrying about getting poked in the ass by the horn.  To build muscle, we need to stress it and tear it and push ourselves, or we grow weak.
Life is hard.
Giving in is easy.
Refusing to compromise, fighting for what you believe is right, presenting a counter point, not to be belligerent but because you cannot sit quietly as someone tries to dictate rather than collaborate or facilitate robust discussion…can be terrifying, the first time.
Realizing your limits, your potential, your GIFT
-Maybe it is candor
-Maybe it is dispute resolution
-Maybe it is creating an excellent environment
-Maybe it is leading others to find their inner leader
whatever you realize your gift is,
Don’t give up.
Don’t give in.
Do the right thing.
Do the hard thing.
Have a blessed weekend!

Mess

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Good morning, Team!  It’s Friday!
This has been a rough week for me.  I’m saying goodbyes to many of my colleagues.  My contention is that when logic and emotion battle, emotion always wins.  I resort to logic as an engineer so depending on the arena, I lose whenever emotion is heavily involved.
I’ve been blessed in so many ways in my lifetime and my awareness has been peaked recently as I step back from two primary commitments in my life.  Things are getting emotional and I’m a fish out of water.
Like everything else in this world, when one door closes…another one opens.  I’m standing in the proverbial hallway with my fictitious hearing aids “maxed”, waiting to hear that next door open.  I’ve had the chance to visit with several colleagues from my latest commitment who have shared their heart … and in turn, melted mine.
The most impactful story involved a colleague who broke bread with me this morning in another city and shared her inspiration about converting her “mess into a message” and challenged me to do the same.
I love the phrase but the meaning behind it involves a lot of healing, a lot of learning and a lot of work.
Perhaps you’ve read a phrase I learned where “we judge others by their actions but ourselves by our intentions”.  So if we start to own our actions and contemplate our mess, maybe we can convert it to a message worth sharing.
Allow me to take a baby step and report that I resent having given up my childhood for our family contracting business.  Even though it taught me responsibility and the value of hard work at a very early age and I had little choice to change it, I feel robbed of my childhood.  My mess becomes my message each time I hear of a well-intended parent, child, boss or employee who mistakenly places too much emphasis on work rather than family.
•Take care of family.
•Work will be there when you get back.
•Ignore the nay-sayers who don’t know the full story or have yet to experience this level of love and commitment.
(Easier said than done but doable when the boss encourages the heart.)
As leaders and mentors, it is a primary responsibility to prevent unnecessary heartache and pain by warning others who struggle with priorities, who value our opinion and need to hear thought provoking questions to shape decision making rationale.
More messes and messages to come.
Have a blessed weekend!

Inspiration!

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Good morning, Team!  It’s Friday!

Leaders don’t demand, insist or command compliance, they offer suggestions, inquire and inspire.

We are in the magic season between Thanksgiving and Christmas and I wanted to share a story of an incredibly strong person who chose to fight one of the strongest foes we know, cancer.  The way in which he did it is remarkable and the legacy he left will change lives for some time to come.
I did not know Matt Ellefson, a South Dakota resident who refused to take his diagnosis sitting down.  But I can guarantee you that anyone who did meet him never forgot him. His energy … contagious and his perseverance, even with cancer, incredible…but his resolve to make something lasting, to turn outward instead of turning inward, to say oh no, I’m not giving in rather than I’ll just take my lumps or complain about the bad hand he was dealt, is the unusual and inspirational part.
www.SURVIVEit.org is the site where you can learn more about this organization inspired by cancer survival but founded to help people.
Look up the site and I dare you to ignore that big lump in your throat or try to continue reading with tears streaming down your face.
Watch the video and hear directly from Matt and others how they discovered and relied on this organization to help them fight fearlessly through their cancer diagnosis.
Matt recently lost his battle after years and years of defying his terminal diagnosis but left an amazing legacy.  Consider how you will celebrate the holidays and perhaps make a donation to this cause or any other where their core mission is to help others.
We all know someone fighting a battle with cancer, physical or mental disabilities, loss, anguish, acrimony or pain that may not be obvious to everyone but if you know them, let them know you are aware and let them feel how you feel.
Have a blessed weekend!

Dilemma

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Good morning, Team!  It’s Friday!

In the past week, I’ve had a common theme conversation with three current or former business owners/leaders who reached a milestone of business accomplishment.  Their investment of time and money grew to a point where they were satisfied with the results but weren’t sure what to do next…with themselves.
As far as the business goes, three typical choices are:
•Sell it?
•Continue to own it but let someone else run it?
•Continue to own, lead it and grow it some more (because they didn’t know what else to do with themselves).
Owning a business is like constantly nurturing a very needy child.  You develop an attachment that often rivals the one with your biological children if you’re not careful.  It’s only natural that it becomes hard to let go.
The bigger question is, what do owners do next?
The traits that make them successful business owners don’t translate well to slowing down or retirement.
If not being content with status quo is a common driver, how do you flip a switch and suddenly become content?
I don’t think you do.
Successful leaders translate another common trait from business to personal life, adapting.  When market conditions shift, you’ve taken the time to plan out what next looks like.  You shift resources, emphasis and effort.
I’d suggest these successful friends and associates adapt and prepare themselves for their future by looking ahead, planning out their personal situation and paying attention to their family in retirement.  Recognize why they started or owned their business in the first place.  Whether independence, autonomy, financial freedom or making a dent in the universe, once accomplished, move on.
Mentor, set up your favorite partner for success or find a new hobby.
First world problems one friend said.
Agreed.  Now go solve it!
Have a blessed weekend!

Stick world

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Good morning, Team!  It’s Friday!
We’ve all heard about the two management styles of “carrot” or “stick”.  Its origin is debatable but if you have a stubborn situation requiring some enticing, you could suggest the issue is a stubborn animal (mule) that can be potentially motivated by dangling a carrot just outside of its mouths reach or beaten with a stick.
In my time leading, being led, managing,  and being managed…I preferred carrot over stick.  No surprise.  It is surprising, however, how many donkey riders out there quickly resort to the stick.
It was always easier for me to assume the proverbial donkey was actually just a pudgy pony that simply needed to be treated as a race horse-in-training and it was MY job to encourage the dark horse to evolve into the front runner.
When reactions, behaviors, fire alarm calls and granular focus on trailing indicators occur especially now – toward year end – when people get anxious about financial performance, it easily becomes a stick world.
When you’re a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
When your only tool is a stick, everyone looks like a jackass.
But…
Leaders rely on influence and don’t mandate conformance.
So…
Put down your stick, grab a carrot and stand out in a stick world.
Challenge:
Think about a situation where you felt justified using a stick leadership style.  Now turn the tables and put yourself in the shoes of the recipient you just “stuck” and imagine how that felt.  Next, think how you would have preferred to be encouraged.  Finally, reconsider whether the stick is still justified.
Have a blessed weekend!

Thankful

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Good morning, Team!  It’s Friday!
Are you getting ready for the busiest travel day of the year?
Have you figured out what all the buzz is about yet?

From my perspective,
It’s not about the turkey, stuffing, pumpkin pie, Grandma’s house or anything like that.  This time of year might be known for packing the family in the car and rustling some leaves on your way over the hill and through the woods…but why is there an electricity in the car?
Why does it feel different than the daily commute, a trip to the grocery store or dropping off kids at band camp?
•Is the driver in a better mood?
•Does the anticipated food taste that much better than what you get at Applebee’s?
•Is it cool enough outside that you have to be on your best behavior in the house so you practice in the car on the way there?
For those who don’t remember where you celebrated last year – let alone why we gather in the first place-here’s a bit of history…
In 1621, the Plymouth colonists celebrated the gifts and blessings of the past year with the Wampanoag Indians and started a tradition we continue today.  They were grateful for what they harvested and that they coexisted with a different culture.  They created something worth replicating.
•We are all extremely blessed and should remember that, daily.
•We live in a country of abundance.
•Opportunity is so prevalent that people risk their lives daily to join in our prosperity.
I have been blessed this year to hear two presidential historians speak on the topics of leadership and chaos in Washington.  Earlier this year I heard Karl Rove speak in Dallas about multiple historical antics demonstrating our current administration did not invent drama in the White House.  More recently I heard Jon Meacham talk about US Presidents and what he believed made us the greatest country on earth.
•A sense of hope … as Franklin D Roosevelt described “We have always held to the hope, the belief, the conviction that there is a better life, a better world, beyond the horizon.”
Combined with
•A sense of humor.  The ability to make fun of ourselves, to laugh and to enjoy time together despite our differences.
Please enjoy your time together, next week especially, but all times and all opportunities.  Live, love, laugh and be forever thankful.

Keep on leading

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Good morning, Team!  It’s Friday!

Stripped from a recent movie line, the words in the title caught my attention when I heard them, albeit out of context.
I don’t care if you believe you are “natural born” or if you earned the respect of others the hard way, if you’ve reached the level of leadership where you yearn to provide guidance and you love to help others reach their potential, do not be easily dissuaded, keep on leading.
Whether you’ve been duped, lied to, or cheated out of something any reasonable person would have cried foul to, do not stop doing the right thing because someone did you wrong…keep on leading.
You don’t behave a certain way to please your constituents or hope someone catches you doing something approximately right.  You focus on the organizations needs, not your own, despite what happens to you.  Keep on leading.
You know how to live with humility, honesty and integrity.  You expect it from yourself and encourage it out of others.  Keep on leading.
When outside of the typical work setting, you invest time with family or your religion or a charitable cause.  You model the way by your actions because it’s fulfilling and enlightening.  Keep on leading.
When the going gets tougher and you don’t know if your leadership is moving your company to a better place.  When lonely is a deep-rooted feeling, not some clever catch phrase about the top.  When the fate of hundreds rests on your ability to make the best short, mid and long term decisions – KEEP ON LEADING!
Have a blessed weekend.

Thrive

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Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!

While at an industry conference this past week, I enjoyed listening to Susan O’Malley, first woman to run a professional sports franchise, address the topic of “Thriving in a male dominated world.” She is a snarky northeastern leader who, through self-deprecating remarks, warmed the crowd up and marched through her points on how she thrived.

What I found most interesting is she did not bash a gender, she did not subscribe to a cheat code or short cut, she delivered a heart felt, albeit salty rendition of her struggle for respect in the sports industry with one of the lowest performing basketball teams at that time.

Her “seven” points on how she lives her life

(I understand listing them without the dialog is less than perfect but hey, I work under a 500 word limit here.)

1. Make your bed every day
•Motion creates motion
•If you don’t do the small things right first, how are you going to do the big things right?

2. Plan your work, work your plan
Identify the top 3 things you’re going to focus on and go execute!

3. Keep working on your craft
“Everybody did something better than me so I watched and learned”

“Seventeen times makes a habit”-Pat Summit

4. Set expectations
Communicate! Don’t assume
Tell people exactly what you want out of them.

5. When you mess up, make it right
Susan used to call up their customers (season ticket holders) to express gratitude and ask what they could do better… one guy simply said he wanted the gum scraped off the back of his chair because he kept getting dirty pants from all the fans getting up to get beer and the customer had to tuck his legs under, only to get gummy pant legs each time.
Susan took a scraper down to the seat and cleaned it off herself.

6. Have fun!
If you’re having fun, you do things better

7. People make the difference
Talented, positive, productive people.

When she finished, a successful woman in the industry sitting next to me said, “I thought she was going to tell us how a woman thrives in a male dominated industry.” to which I replied, “I think she just did!”

Start your list. Maybe it’s seven, maybe it’s less, maybe it’s more.

Have s blessed weekend!

Popcorn and marbles

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Good morning Team!  It’s Friday!
Anyone old enough to get their cholesterol checked has heard the analogy between High Density Lipoproteins (HDL) and Low Density Lipoproteins (LDL).  A doctor will tell you that HDL is similar to a marble and LDL is similar to popcorn so if you took a pipe and put a funnel on top of it, started pouring a combination of the two small but very different substances through it, the marbles pass right through and collect on the bottom (or shoot out from the bottom) and the popcorn takes its sweet-ass time to get through and has a tendency to clump up together and stay toward the top.
Sales prospects are similar to popcorn and marbles.  Some are a definite go and some are still a figment of imagination that might make their way through the sales pipe … someday.  The biggest mistake is to mischaracterize them (either way).
If you tell everyone in your circle of influence that something is a “winner” and it doesn’t materialize, you lose credibility.  Especially when you are too embarrassed to follow up and your audience finds out the bad news from another source.
If you tell everyone something might turn into something “eventually” and it quickly shows up on your doorstep ready to play, you might not be ready.  Still not an ideal situation.
It’s important to perform some triage and call a spade a spade understanding the difference between popcorn and marbles.
Example:  When arguing a point of view, you can address things with facts or conjecture.  The facts pass through the pipe like marbles but the conjecture causes confusion, indigestion and constipation.
As Joe Friday from the TV show Dragnet used to say, “Just the facts, Ma’am”
Have a blessed weekend!

Encouragement

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Good morning, Team!  It’s Friday!
I stumbled on this video recently and it reminded me of just how much difference the right words at the right time from the right person with the right intentions can make.  Please watch.
What are you doing for the stars on your team to set them up for success?
Do you expect them to develop on their own?
How can someone be expected to stretch if they don’t know where they stand and they don’t know how much you care?
I recall ninth grade gym class and we’re supposed to perform for the presidential fitness competition.  I was doing sit-ups (which I still hate and they are harder now) and tired quickly.  Mark Lingen, who I didn’t know well, starts yelling at me because of my anemic effort.  I doubt I got any awards because of it but I genuinely felt like someone cared and did a helluva lot more sit-ups because Mark showed interest and wouldn’t let me off easy.  We became good friends after that and stay in touch today.
Who are you encouraging to do more today?  What motivates people to reach their potential?  Is it staring at someone with their arms folded, pouting and displaying their disappointment in your performance…or is it someone who crawls down the field screaming in your face to give more?
If you consider yourself a leader, you may want to make certain you have some encouragement arrows in your quiver.
Have a blessed weekend!