Creases and scars

Good morning, Team!  It’s Friday!

I recently heard about a study that claimed the wrinkles on your brain (ridges are “gyri” and crevices are “sulci”) are where information is stored or where strong memories deepen the wrinkles.  This sounds plausible…but it’s a myth.  The genuine activity comes from neurons firing (synapses) and blood cells growing and increase in number.  You become smarter, wiser, more knowledgeable from the activity inside, not what’s on the surface.

When it comes to matters of the heart, physical activity is considered a good thing, forcing blood cells to pump through the heart faster.  Exercise makes you stronger.  However, when we consider the emotional scars that mark up our hearts, it is up to you whether this strengthens or weakens your resilience to love and care for others.  You become more emotionally aware but not necessarily more emotionally intelligent.

Why am I referencing the brain and the heart in a leadership blog?  The connection between the two is undeniable, remarkable but not necessarily simple to understand.  Please click the link below from the Dana Foundation for more specifics.

https://www.dana.org/article/emotional-rescue-the-heart-brain-connection/

What do I expect you to do with this information?

Remember John O’Leary teaching us about love and fear, the two primary motivators?  The information from the Dana Foundation not only confirms some of the claims but gives some indication that anxiety, like the kind triggered by an angry boss, could lead to chemical reactions causing heart attacks and strokes.

I have to ask, as leaders, are you loving your people and helping them grow … or are you stressing them out and (potentially) shortening their life?

Think about how you treat your Team.  It really matters.

Have a blessed weekend!

These are not my words but those of Michael J. Fox who wrote them in response to an Oprah Winfrey magazine request to some celebrities to write a letter to their younger selves…what lessons has life taught you?

What does this have to do with Leadership?

•We all face challenges as human beings and leadership roles are typically more public, more scrutinized and carry a higher volume of challenges that usually affect a larger number of people.

•It’s easy to become overwhelmed with the volume of challenges, whether it’s personal, professional or family-oriented.

•The expectation of multi-tasking in this day and age can get misconstrued to mean you should be able to deal with multiple life challenges all at the same time.

The poignant six word phrase from someone who has been dealing with a celebrity existence and Parkinson’s Disease strikes a chord.  It echoes what several mentors and coaches in my life tried to tell me as I wrestled with simultaneous inflection points in my career and family life and impacted personal well-being.  Not heeding this advice has lead to extended pain and suffering I’ve just been able to manage within the past year.

When work, family and life throw you a challenge

-Don’t put it off

-Don’t assume it will get better on its own

-Don’t allow ”it” to become “them“ so that the compounded challenge becomes so wickedly difficult that the process of unraveling consumes all of your resources…and leaves you tired with multiple hard issues separated…but still unresolved.

Have a blessed weekend!

I’ve been reading Rick Warrens ”The Purpose Driven Life”.  I’m not very far into it but did notice some important statements early on in the book and since I agree with them, I thought I’d share.  But rather than simply repeat them, I’m adding a response to each one of the negatives, offering a response to the question, ”But what am I to do, as a leader, to help others work past these issues?”

Warren asks the question,

Is this rooted in something you feel you did wrong in the past?  Are you spending time worrying about things based on this guilt?  Is guilt directing your decisions today?

As my mother would say, Worry doesn’t solve problems tomorrow, it only robs you of your peace today.  Move past it.  Seek forgiveness if that’s what it takes.  Stop looking in the rear view mirror and focus on your windshield.

I like what Bert Ghezzi wrote about this, “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”  It is such a waste of time and energy and actually eats away at you and robs you of optimism in your future.

My father was an angry man.  We used to attribute it to his German heritage but later realized that was far from the reason, no matter how common the stereotype.  I remember how the predisposition used to make things worse.  He’d be mad about something, then couldn’t think straight (studies have shown as much as a 30 point drop in IQ when emotions drive decisions) and compound the problem by yelling and venting his anger and put us all on edge, only to make more bad decisions…

This may be the most common driver.  It is often mistaken for something else.  For instance, every leader has to address change of some sort.  Ronald Heifetz wrote in his book The Practice of Adaptive Leadership, “What people resist is not change per se, but loss.”  Put another way, We fear loss, not change.

This leads me to my scarcity-versus-abundance-thinking topic…and rather than dive deeper, I’ll just say that leaders should always be ready to talk about abundance, opportunity and possibility.

Oh boy, in this day and age?  I am convicted.  I like nice [stuff].  But when do you realize that it controls you more than you control it?  Keeping up with the Jones’ or whatever excuse you can think of…try a little Marie Kondo and ask yourself, “Does this bring me joy?”  You’ll be surprised how less can feel like more and that the European way of looking at “things” is quite evolved.

This could easily be tied back to childhood and might require some serious therapy before you realize you are exactly the way you were designed and you don’t need to seek approval from any one for any reason.  As a leader, we need to model genuine self confidence which requires self awareness.  Pass it on.

I have some more reading to do but I like what I’ve read so far.  I’d like to hear if any of this resonates and how you are driven.

Have a blessed weekend!

“Eric, go upstairs and get some matches off of Dad’s dresser.”  I was 5 and had learned to listen to my 10 year old brother … or suffer the wrath of a noogie or some other cruel and unusual punishment older brothers are famous for dishing out.  But I didn’t think it was a very good idea.  In fact, I knew it was a bad idea.

On an August night in 1970, a small group of neighborhood kids were bored, curious and looking for something to do.  Never a healthy combination without adult supervision.  Mom was getting groceries and Dad was in the shower after a long day in the truck.

The biggest kid in the group hoisted a large barrel from down the block on his back to our backyard and when the flashlight didn’t work, my brother decided I should get matches to see what was inside.  First match went out.  Second match went…BOOM!

My brother was in the hospital for 13 days.  I was sent home with a scalded forehead and some smelly medicine applied liberally until I healed.  We both made a full recovery.

The reason I bring this up?

I bought and read John O’Leary’s book “On Fire” mentioned last week.  He shared two examples supporting the idea of being motivated by fear or love where in horrific tragedy, his father chose love.  Absolute and unconditional love for a child who hours before had begged his sister to kill him.

What does that sound like?

“John, I am so proud of you!  I love you!”

What does it look like?

Spending countless hours at the bedside of a boy burned over his entire body and encouraging him to never give up in multiple, multiple ways.

What does fear sound like?

Eric: “Dad, come quick, Dan is hurt!”

Dad: “What the hell did you guys do?!”

What does fear look like?

Dad not making it to the hospital but calling the pastor to go in his stead.

The circumstances were entirely different between John and I, in almost every way.  The things I can say are similar:

1. Our Fathers did the best they could

2. We both learned how motivation is either rooted in love or fear

3. We both learned over time what matters

Patanjali wrote:

“When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds.  Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great, and wonderful world.  Dormant forces, faculties, and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.”

Pedro Arrupe wrote:

“What you are in love with…will affect everything.  It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning,…how you spend your weekends, what you read,…what breaks your heart and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.  Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.

John O’Leary writes:

“The number one joy indicator, the one thing that will predict whether someone feels joy in their life or not, is the practice of gratitude.”

My takeaways

•Find your purpose…no matter how long it takes

•Choose love over fear…every single time.

•Be grateful…for EVERYTHING.

Have a blessed weekend!

I noticed a guy walking through the crowd on Wednesday at the Vistage Executive Summit in Minneapolis.  There was something unusual about him but it took me a while to figure out what.  Was it his tie?  There were scant few of those here after a previous presenter from a few years back, Cameron Herald, nearly admonished us for continuing to perpetuate an out of style fashion statement.  Was it his gate?  He had purpose and intention.  Was it his face? It was lit up…all…the…time.  Was it the way he held his head?  It was tilted slightly as if he was approaching someone and was thinking hard about what he was about to ask or say.

He is John O’Leary and he changed my life on Wednesday.  He wrote a book a couple of years ago titled “On Fire”.  (I ordered it but haven’t seen it to read it yet)

His keynote was so engaging and so inspiring that I had to share a sliver of what he messaged to the crowd of 300.

I won’t do the message justice but if you want to gain more, you can hear his message through his book, his blog, his podcasts and other social media outlets.

What stuck for me:

•There are two primary motivators in life, Fear and Love.  You can choose which one to pay attention to and which one you will use.

A victim will typically ask themselves three questions:

•Why me?

John used pictures and humor and pounded on these three questions.  He teased us with the victim stance to begin with, coming from his 98% burned body at age 9, but in his message he turned the tables and asked the same questions from a victors perspective.

•Why me?

Why am I so blessed?  What did I do to deserve this?  More importantly, what can I do to show gratitude for my blessings?

He started with the example of a hot shower. How many of us take these for granted?  He then offered to jump on a plane with anyone who would join him so he could show us one of any number of places who don’t have that measure of hygiene we enjoy daily.

•Who cares?

Control what I can.  Ignore the rest.  Not who cares about me and my horrific situation but who cares about all the things I can’t control.  Let it go and focus your energy on the things you can control.

•What more can I do?

Rather than limit what your possibilities are, the question assumes you already won the lottery.

*You’re blessed.

*You’re breathing.

*You have tremendous gifts.

Now, what else are you doing to leverage them for the good of others?

-Can you mentor?

-Can you volunteer?

-Can you share your treasures with others and add value rather than simply stuff away a larger nest egg?

“Those who have a ‘why’ to live can bear with almost any ‘how’”

Viktor Frankl

Choose how you see the world.  Focus your energy on the world of wonder and blessings and possibilities.  Be grateful for everything.  Smile.  Participate.  Revel.

I noticed a guy walking through the crowd on Wednesday at the Vistage Executive Summit in Minneapolis.  There was something unusual about him but it took me a while to figure out what.

It is his attitude.

He chooses to be grateful, positive and inspiring.

If he can do it, so can you!

Have a blessed weekend!

I think I’ve run into more than my share of crock pots in this microwave economy.

The latest saga goes like this:

•I took my car in for service the other day.  It took 4 days to get it back and 2+ hours waiting … after they said it would be done … and the complimentary wash was nice until we had to hunt for the floor mats.  The delays were due to some minor mechanical complications, a potentially fatal error they created during a previous visit, an inability to troubleshoot an issue (that was admitted to have been recorded on the onboard computer…) and a lack of communication between staff, management and leadership.  I’m thinking this is more common than not…and might apply to your “shop.”

Getting it right, doing it on time, understanding your client is busy and prefers not to watch the TV in your waiting room because they probably have a nicer TV at home with a remote and could be drinking a beer…just sayin’.

An old nuclear engineer I used to work with was famous for saying “Good, fast, cheap…pick two.”  I must admit it’s easy to buy-in to that thinking.  However, today, consumers expect all three as a minimum.  Good, fast, cheap…AND the ability to say “no thank you” after trying it on for size for a month.

The book “The Discipline of Market Leaders” by Wiersema and Treacy, postulates that there are three very distinct ways in which companies distinguish themselves: High Quality (think Apple), Low Cost (think Walmart) or Exceptional Customer Service (think Nordstrom).  Now, the game has changed and companies like Amazon have figured out how to deliver on all three, thus requiring that you must, as well.

A sense of urgency is critical but not the only thing required to keep your customers happy.  Offer great quality!  Deliver ahead of schedule!  Provide amazing value!  Whatever your business, execute on it so well that your customers are bragging and become your best referral source.

Gotta Go!

Have a blessed weekend!

Good morning, Team!  It’s Friday!

{Prepare yourself for a little ramble this morning…it’ll be worth it}

The biggest question that rattles around in my/our/most people’s subconscious after

•“What do I eat?”

and

•“Where will I sleep?”

is

•“Why am I here?” / “Where am I going?”

Maybe this will help…

Each of us are blessed with gifts.  If you don’t know what yours are yet, I suggest you sit down and do a quick inventory.  You might want to calibrate it with a few people who know you best.  My list would start with:

Complex problem solving

Perceptiveness

Candor

What do you do with your gifts?

How do I maximize my contribution to society with my gifts and…(here’s the tricky part)…maintain a quality of life I aspire to (or have grown accustom to)?

Let’s start by what not to do:

•Don’t worry about your carcass

Seems counter intuitive but selflessness and humility are a good foundation for any temple.

•Don’t take everything on your shoulders

Another hard thing to get past … but this ain’t “your show” (despite what every single social pressure would suggest).   Think about it.  You’re a product of divine selection.  Did you have anything to do with getting here?  Nope.  Did you decide what country, color, language, economic status, brains, looks, health you currently enjoy?  Nope.   So why do you all of a sudden think you’re in control of the next step?

The only thing you CAN do once you discover your independence is take an inventory of your gifts.

After inventory, list what you’ve done with the gifts and what you want to do.   Gaining clarity on this will require reflection.  (See last weeks blog for tips).

At 54, I’ve been:

a son, brother, husband, father and grandfather

a giver, taker, fighter and lover

a follower, leader, (lifelong) learner, and teacher

Before I pass, I hope to:

Leverage my experiences combined with my gifts to

•Create genuine value

•Influence positive and lasting change (one relationship at a time)

•Demonstrate that even the most hardened soul can repent, rejoice and reimagine

Beginning with the end in mind (sometimes provoked by “What will your eulogy sound like?” or “What will be etched on your headstone?”) gives me pause.

Am I a good person?  Debatable

What did I do with my gifts so far?  The only answer I can come up with is, “Not enough.”

Scott Hunter, in his book Unshackled Leadership retells an old Cherokee Indian story that demonstrates the choice of how people focus on the fruits of their spirit:

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside each of us. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee replied, “The one you feed.”

Have a blessed weekend!

Good morning, Team!  It’s Friday!

The first thing I think of when I hear the word reflection is a solitary person in a contemplative pose and a curious look on their face going through details in their head of a complex day or problem.  I’d like to expand that mental image for a minute and suggest you consider building reflection into your daily routine.

My first systems control class in the college of engineering at NDSU taught me the importance of a feedback loop.  It’s very hard to calibrate anything without measuring the initial results, reflecting on what it did versus what you want it to do, then taking appropriate action to align those initial results with intended results.  Try, reflect, calibrate, try again.

Jim Collins wrote “fire bullets, then cannonballs” in his book Great by Choice.  The information gained by a low-cost, low-risk, low-distraction experiment can then be incorporated into the intended action and desired result.  Try, reflect, adjust, try harder.

Most leaders are pulled into daily operations and get a bit of a runner’s high by accomplishing multiple items, whether tactical or strategic in nature, in any specific day.  It’s hard to get comfortable taking time to reflect when you are surrounded by a sense of urgency.  However, busy might not be productive and the sense of satisfaction could be misguided if the results haven’t been calibrated.  Slow down a little, reflect, reengage.

It doesn’t matter if reflection is comprised of light waves, electrons, opinions from others or your own memories and ideas, they are all methods meant to improve the specific, ongoing experience.

I challenge you to back away from the “tyranny of the urgent” and spend 30 genuine minutes reflecting on what you have done and what you are going to do.  It will feel selfish and unproductive … at first.  You will be interrupted, undoubtedly.  Don’t give it up.  Stay persistent and gain the benefit.  Maybe make a hole in your calendar for a full month and reflect back in 30 days if you’ve built a lasting, beneficial habit.

Have a blessed weekend!

A long time friend, mentor, and coach shared a story recently where he was golfing with some members (even more experienced than he) in a scramble.  They were doing fine but heard shouts of glee from other greens along the course, implying other groups were doing quite well.

Not to be discouraged by others apparent success, he suggested to his group that were doing very well with their low score, they should hoot and holler at the next green.  One of the foursome shrugged it off and said “act like you’ve been here before”.

Business involves people … and responsive people, those with a sense of urgency, seem to do better.  They answer the phone right away, they do what they said they would, they underpromise and overdeliver.  They carry with them a genuine sense of urgency…or so it seems to me.

I mention the story above to capture sage wisdom from someone who not only doesn’t want to celebrate prematurely, but also seems to carry a balance to his sense of urgency toward life.  Don’t get ahead of yourself, don’t be bothered by the noise around you and don’t ignore your obligations or lose your focus.

A healthy sense of urgency is a good goal with purpose and balance.  To that end, my blog is “late” because it is typically published by 8 am.  I think I’ll change it to Good DAY, Team!  It’ll give me more time for thoughts to marinate and a more healthy balance to the urgency of publishing a thought provoking message.

Have a blessed, long weekend!  Approach it … and your future … with a respectful and healthy sense of urgency.

Good morning, Team!  It’s Friday!

I recently had the opportunity to visit with several retired or retiring professionals who held leadership roles during their career.  Each had unique elements to their journey but the common threads were of interest to me.

Travel/relocation-advancement depended on moving for the company to where they were needed.   Whether a twenty mile home relocation or a regular trip to a foreign country, each leader faced decisions of whether they would move or stay and each were impacted by the decisions they made.

Health-“wake up call”, “widow-maker”, “the zipper”…like the names on big boats, health events have catchy names because after you have an oh-shit-moment, you stand up and take notice of what just happened.  Stress, poor eating habits, drinking, not exercising enough all catch up to you and sometimes force a retirement or at least a change of direction.  You can’t lead if you’re not here.

Family-typically why we do what we do, or so we tell ourselves.  This forces the question of how we define quality of life or happiness.  Each person I spoke with was steered more by family than any other element.  Trailing spouse held a poor connotation.  Happy wife, Happy life.

The struggle-when do you set down your pencil, iPhone or sword?  When do you decide your cabin is built, your boat is big enough or your physical well being is in jeopardy?  Age was never the factor in my observations.  Because you can draw Medicare?  Because Social Security kicks in at some level?  Nope.  Life events dictated the final date more than anything else.

While we work to do well by our companies and colleagues, we also hope to finish strong and take care of our loved ones.  None of us really know what will happen on the journey.  We can predict and anticipate but I might suggest after interviewing several who just broke the tape at the end of their personal race:

•Enjoy the journey

•Be kind to others but don’t forget to be kind to yourself

•Pay attention to the whispers because if/when you ignore them, the voice will get louder almost assuredly at the most inopportune times

•Prioritize with clarity.  If family comes first always, live it and accept the economic consequences.  If business comes first always, live it and accept the relational consequences.

I am far from this milestone myself.  I talk about starting the fourth quarter but it’s a guess.  I’ve been blessed with an extended time out to lift my head, scan my surroundings, reevaluate my own priorities and reengage.

See you at the finish line!

Have a blessed weekend!