I’ve been reading Rick Warrens ”The Purpose Driven Life”.  I’m not very far into it but did notice some important statements early on in the book and since I agree with them, I thought I’d share.  But rather than simply repeat them, I’m adding a response to each one of the negatives, offering a response to the question, ”But what am I to do, as a leader, to help others work past these issues?”

Warren asks the question,

Is this rooted in something you feel you did wrong in the past?  Are you spending time worrying about things based on this guilt?  Is guilt directing your decisions today?

As my mother would say, Worry doesn’t solve problems tomorrow, it only robs you of your peace today.  Move past it.  Seek forgiveness if that’s what it takes.  Stop looking in the rear view mirror and focus on your windshield.

I like what Bert Ghezzi wrote about this, “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”  It is such a waste of time and energy and actually eats away at you and robs you of optimism in your future.

My father was an angry man.  We used to attribute it to his German heritage but later realized that was far from the reason, no matter how common the stereotype.  I remember how the predisposition used to make things worse.  He’d be mad about something, then couldn’t think straight (studies have shown as much as a 30 point drop in IQ when emotions drive decisions) and compound the problem by yelling and venting his anger and put us all on edge, only to make more bad decisions…

This may be the most common driver.  It is often mistaken for something else.  For instance, every leader has to address change of some sort.  Ronald Heifetz wrote in his book The Practice of Adaptive Leadership, “What people resist is not change per se, but loss.”  Put another way, We fear loss, not change.

This leads me to my scarcity-versus-abundance-thinking topic…and rather than dive deeper, I’ll just say that leaders should always be ready to talk about abundance, opportunity and possibility.

Oh boy, in this day and age?  I am convicted.  I like nice [stuff].  But when do you realize that it controls you more than you control it?  Keeping up with the Jones’ or whatever excuse you can think of…try a little Marie Kondo and ask yourself, “Does this bring me joy?”  You’ll be surprised how less can feel like more and that the European way of looking at “things” is quite evolved.

This could easily be tied back to childhood and might require some serious therapy before you realize you are exactly the way you were designed and you don’t need to seek approval from any one for any reason.  As a leader, we need to model genuine self confidence which requires self awareness.  Pass it on.

I have some more reading to do but I like what I’ve read so far.  I’d like to hear if any of this resonates and how you are driven.

Have a blessed weekend!