I saw a sign last night when leaving a local establishment that read “work hard, play hard” and I think I resemble that message.  But if you only know hard and nothing exists to contrast it, what’s to say one man’s hard isn’t another man’s soft.  When referencing hard, are we talking difficult or rigid or complex?  Conversely, what connotation does soft have?  Easy, kind, weak, gentle, smooth?

Executive coach Damien Faughnan told me that the ‘soft stuff is the hard stuff.’  In the spirit of the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu, this is meant to challenge the way we might normally think. The soft stuff (kind, respectful, whispers, and assuming noble intent) can be hard (challenging) when we think we know the “truth” and we just want to get things accomplished.  We (and I mean ME when I say we) want others to immediately understand things to the same level that we do and beyond comprehension, share the same level of urgency to get things accomplished as soon as humanly practical.  A sign of this might be when you’ve explained something for the third time and you start talking to yourself… “[They] just don’t get it!  It’s clear as day.  I need [them] to just get it done or I’ll just do it myself.”

Here’s where soft (tone of voice, concern, fruits of the spirit-love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness – enter the equation) and when you have a demanding boss, board members, shareholders or other stakeholders full of anxiety and expectation, the natural reaction is to reflect that down to your Team.  But we all know, as Maya Angelou said, “People don’t care how much you know until they know…how much you care.”

I called out tone of voice above because mine is not soft (normally).  It has been my experience that a hard message spoken softly is better received than an easy message is, when delivered with the wrong tone.  How easy is it to maintain a calm demeanor and articulate a message when you’re being stepped on from multiple angles?  It’s not.

So…the soft stuff is the hard stuff.

Be gentle today.  Think about others needs before yours or maybe trust yours will be met when you meet others first.

Have a blessed weekend!