This month at my peer advisory board meeting, we heard from the author of Conversational Capacity, Craig Weber.

He’s done a fantastic job of identifying how to manage between candor and curiosity.  I have yet to pick up the book but based on the author, the content of his discussion and his enthusiasm for the subject and his numerous examples, you can bet I will.

He told the story of Mike Mullane, famous engineer, pilot and astronaut who, on his maiden flight with instructor by his side, encountered “bingo fuel” but the pilot elected to ignore it and Mike was too new to feel comfortable saying anything, probably assuming the pilot knew what they were doing.  They crashed but amazingly walked away.

He tells another story about a nurse who worked with a gifted but arrogant surgeon.  During an operation (apparently before they started marking limbs with a purple marker) this surgeon cut into the wrong leg but because the surgeon struck such fear into the hearts of his staff, she chose not to say anything.  (Surgeon realized it on his own eventually, sewed up the scalpel handiwork on the wrong appendage and finished the procedure.)

Not enough candor can have severe consequences.

The other end of the spectrum can be equally dangerous.  If we think we know everything, we shut down curiosity.

Since Craig has been a professional speaker for decades, he has been given countless opportunities to see groups in action.  In one very technical setting, a genius kept shutting down conversation by telling everyone in the room that their ideas wouldn’t work.  The “flamethrower” finally had been bounced from team to team, not because he wasn’t brilliant but because he was so destructive to teamwork and healthy dialog.

Finally, after being bounced several times, his latest leader sat him down to say “Nigel” (made up), I enjoy having you in the meetings to leverage your 200 point IQ but I can’t sacrifice the other 1000 points of IQ in the room every time you interrupt and shut them down.  Increase our conversational capacity by showing more curiosity or simply shutting up more often.  (I’ve taken some liberties with the story but the gist is the same.)

Now you know about the sweet spot.  •Speak up when you have something important to say-it could mean life or limb.

•Be more self and situationally aware (emotional intelligence cornerstones) because you may not be adding the amount of value you think you are by constantly imparting your wisdom…collective knowledge and diversity in thinking makes for better solutions every time.

Have a blessed weekend!