Good morning, Carole! It’s Friday!

People/Leaders/Team…My bride of 3+ decades just celebrated another birthday. She told me a few years ago, “Honey (she calls me that on a good day), I just want to be healthy and happy.” I surmised that is a fair request for anyone.

I added the two other words in there because she fits them and deserves the first two.

Let me back up a minute. The hard-nosed author of this leadership blog gives off a cold vibe. With nicknames like Russian (I’m Swede, Swiss and German), Cop (Nope, never been one), Hard-Ass (Hmmm), and several I won’t mention, I will say that I’ve been misjudged by my … cover. I’ve taken empathy training, counseling, coaching and read a fair amount on how to get more in touch with my emotions (and my inner marshmallow) but at the end of the day, I believe my spouse knows my heart. She knows I wish nothing but good for her. As you might suspect, I do not dote…but I do spoil. I may not whisper sweet nothings …but I declare my feelings. This dedication is one of those ways.

At a milestone not too may years ago in Fountain Hills, AZ with a view to the East that was breathtaking – I provided the following testament to her in front of a small group of family members. It’s personal and it’s from the heart. I share it with trepidation and without edit because to chop it up would alter the intent.
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Healthy, Happy, Patient and Kind

Good evening, family (& friends)
Thank you for being here for this milestone.

This… is a celebration of life!
We have a beautiful backdrop that God prepared for us and we have a chance to share this beauty with people we love and adore.

Today, Carole celebrates a milestone. Half a century on earth! When she was 8, and found to have an extra vertebrae during screening for scoliosis, there may have been questions whether she would live a full life or if it would be confined to a wheelchair or hospital bed…
Carole’s optimism and fighter mentality shone through all of the concern. No doubt her mother and father prayed for her to be able to live a happy and healthy, purposeful life.
Well, Mom and Dad, here we are!
Healthy and happy, Mother &
Grandmother-no higher purpose.

Less than two weeks ago, coming off of a tough Board meeting, Carole endured a lengthy day of Eric on the phone with Board members and Chief Officers wrestling with challenging topics and looking forward-all company related stuff.

The next day she said to me as we were walking out the door so we could show the house again, “you sure are lucky you have a patient wife”…I hesitated for a second or two, thinking to myself “What did I forget this time?!” And I responded, “I AM lucky you are patient” but then ventured into the unknown and asked, “but what makes you say that?”
She began to recount how my focus on work made her feel and I apologized that I made her feel that she wasn’t the most important person on the planet.

Carole indeed has been patient.

Kind hearted, kind minded, volunteer, friend, considerate daughter, sibling, Mother, Grandmother and wife.

When you are in Carole’s presence, you can feel her heart reach out.
*Will you stay for a while?
*Time for a meal?
*Do you need some food or money or do you want to see the shirt I bought for you? 🙂 it was on clearance for 95% off!

I am exceedingly proud of this woman we affectionately call Caber. This healthy, happy, patient and kind woman who God has given me the honor to spend the last 29 + years with. She has a distinctive laugh, a way of making up words, a way of laughing so hard she loses bladder control.
She also has a way of making us all smile.
I love you, Carole.
Happy Birthday!
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So when you ask yourself why this might be on a leadership blog, I would say…leaders:
•Are approachable
•Are vulnerable
•Have a genuine concern for the well being of the people they interact with, starting with those closest to them
•Model the way

If a hard ass can turn inside out to express care, concern and compassion for a life partner, anything is possible.

Leadership is a calling but it also requires that you take care of yourself and maintain a support system (a world class rope team-and you just met my anchor) for the days you spend your very last ounce of energy at the office and someone at home needs to:
Resuscitate you
Remind you why started down this journey and
Reassure you that no matter what happens on the battlefield, you’ll have a Reason to come home.

Have a blessed weekend!