Good morning, Team! It’s Friday!

Sorry for the unsavory (asshole) word, it’s not for shock value and it’s not meant to be disrespectful. The term is often used but until recently, I never thought about what it meant, only that I didn’t really want to be considered one.

In Aaron James work entitled “Ass-holes, a theory”, the author does an extraordinary job describing the label: a person counts as an asshole when, and only when, he systematically allows himself to enjoy special advantages in interpersonal relations out of an entrenched sense of entitlement that immunizes him against the complaints of people.
Thus, a happy asshole might be one who is content with this substantial character flaw and enjoys his sense of entitlement.

On the other hand, what makes up a miserable hero? My first thoughts go to the war veteran who returns home with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). While fighting for the freedoms we enjoy, he may have lost a limb, maybe saw things he’ll never be able to forget and live with the nightmares his entire life. Perhaps she took a bullet through the back in a firefight that carries with it the kind of pain that only addictive prescriptions can remedy. Maybe lost a close friend who cannot be replaced.

These two descriptions of people seem to represent oxymorons that we don’t believe can exist. The easier descriptions to accept under most stereotypes would be miserable asshole and happy hero, wouldn’t they be?

Let’s look beyond a simple, narrow designation for a moment. Whether man or woman, happy or miserable, asshole or hero…no one can be wholly described by a singular label. Some of us are more self aware than others-stress, circumstances, heritage, disposition, habits, health and a host of other things contribute to how we show up. No one, no matter how informed, familiar or close can anticipate your behavior every minute. Only you can control it…and control it you must.

How are you regarded today? Ask someone you trust to give you a straight and candid answer.

How do you want to be regarded? Spend some time thinking about it and working on the impressions you leave. Behavioral change might be the toughest thing you’ve ever worked on…and the most rewarding.

Have a blessed weekend!