Good morning, Leaders! It’s Friday!

While in Bismarck, ND this week I took in a succession planning conference led by one of my favorite presenters on the planet, Geordie Aitken. His humor, genuine and engaged demeanor, quick wit and sticky wicket, hipster style are magnetic.

We spent time on the “cauldron of change” topic but people experience it more than once in their life. Most will see substantial change at marriage, birth of children, and career advancement as well as retirement.

Geordie talked about two cycles in the change process: one of resistance and another of suffering. Both have trigger events and consequences but I think the most important point he made is we must realize the tension between work and home…career and family…personal purpose and professional purpose. Note: He was talking to a room full of engineers/problem solvers/company leaders and emerging leaders who typically say “yes” too much, thereby creating substantial tension between the office and the house.

The phrase “some tension allowed” not only recognizes there is and will be tension but it gives permission to live with it…at least some. Too much tension creates problems and forces us to make difficult and painful choices. As my old friend Raj says, Any one of us could get a new job but could you find another person you’d want to share the rest of your life with?

When you go through a major life change, your purpose changes. Having a sense of purpose is the best way to navigate through uncertainty. If you resist and deny, the suffering cycle is prolonged. Geordie quietly suggested we learn fast and suffer less.

At a major change point, the learning is paired up with letting go. Making a substantial shift in life involves 50% letting go and 50% learning new things. As Nelson Mandela said, “I never lose, I either win or I learn.”

As for me, I’ve experienced substantial change in the past couple of years.  I haven’t always learned fast.  I found myself bargaining with … myself … why I needed to resist the inevitable and it certainly created, compounded and prolonged the pain.  To learn fast is to wise up and to let go is to forgive.

Learn fast, let go and suffer less.

Wise up, forgive, be happy!

Have a blessed weekend.